It's too early for me to be up this Saturday morning. Right now it's seven fifty-two, but a little guy woke me at five -fifty. He's just a weekend guest. So of course during observing things and hearing things I hear a sluuurp. Oh that grates on my nerves. But once told and reminded it stops. Now this is a little kid with issues to begin with, but what most slurpers and people who drag their coffee into their mouth as if that have to work on a continuous sip?
Haven't you been taught any manners at all? I used to hear my mother slurp her coffee and every time I'd walk into another room. That went on for years, until one day she make her usual instant coffee in the Brownstone kitchen we lived in, in Brooklyn. My brother and I were the only kids home that day out of eight and as soon as my mother poured her coffee my brother went in the living room. I stayed in the kitchen until I heard the first slurp. My head went nuts inside. Why does she do that? I too went in the living room.
It wasn't long before my mother decided to join us. My brother and I looked at each other as she sat down and sluuurrp. No! Why does she have to continue that God-awful sound. I got up and left, back to the kitchen. It was only what seemed like a minute before she followed to make another cup and in turn I went back to the Living room where my brother and I were whispering about this latest coffee event.
Slippers followed again as she stood asking us what was funny and we just made something dumb up. This time I didn't sit down, worried she'd be back with her "cup of slurp". Yes indeed it happened again and I was like a bat out of hell out of there. But just as I turned away ,my mother said okay you two, what the hell is going on? You know, you hear that stuff when you know you're being kind of deceitful . My bother grinned while I said nothing. Again she asked, okay what is going on? I walk in you walk out, I go in the kitchen you come in here. My wonderful brother said, go ahead, tell her which implied of course we both knew and were in on something. That dirty rat!
So I warned her, stuttered and said, uh you're not going to like it and you'll get mad. Still holding that cup she tipped it up and another sluurrp came about. Standing almost face to face she waved her hand to me, saying well what is it? Do I have typhoid or something?
Here we go when baby brother said, yeah tell her, still grinning. I knew I would get it worse once I let her know, but I did. I said, well uh, mom, uh you uh kind of uh, slurp when you drink coffee. Her blue eyes got so big I thought they would pop out and bounce off the walls.
Son of a bitch ! she said. I can't even drink one F'n cup of coffee without being ridiculed. Again another son of a bitch, and a, I work all week and can't even enjoy a cup of coffee. On and on she went. I thought I would soften it with, mom, no one said you can't drink coffee it's just you slurp when you.... My brother looked at me like I was abut to be committed and my mother? Well she really went berserk. What the hell...who the hell do you think you are? I answered my name innocently enough as I never understood that question. Duh-I know who I am. Yeah put me away.
Well the end result was she wouldn't talk to us and had her coffee alone for a while. Hey, we were happy with that. A couple of weeks later I had to meet her at the restaurant next to where she worked. We sat down with a few of her friends. They all ordered coffee and my mother did a slurp. Everyone was busy talking and didn't hear it, but she did, and looked at me. I looked away. That day the slurping stopped.
No comments:
Post a Comment