What's in a church and why go in the first place? Do you have church at home? Some people have small services at homes. Yes services, including tithes and music, seems more personal that way, less clicky. Are needs met more that way? I don't know. I guess it's such an individual thing. So many things to weigh and measure.
Growing up I thought my church was the perfect, most important place to be, better than home to be sure so I looked forward to going anytime I was allowed. One time my father made us go to another church because the janitor made my sister and i remove our boots. He just cleaned the halls, it was snowing and out feet were wet. MY sister wouldn't hear of it, became indignant while I thought what's wrong with that. It's Gods house, we were always to be respectful which is how we were taught-by someone. So the in charge sister and I went home. My father made a call saying we wouldn't be back and the following Saturday we went to a church called Incarnation, two blocks away.
It was my first year to start confirmation classes and I did not want to be in that church! I went to ZION. Even the name was better! So after a few Saturdays with me sitting in the last seat, arms crossed and angry face, that pastor called my father saying it was useless to make me continue you. YEA!!! Back to ZION!
I didn't just love Zion because of the most handsome pastor in the whole world. I loved it because "I felt" it loved me back.
When people talk about a relationship with Jesus or God, that's something you have to feel. Now this is my opinion only. You know same as in a marriage, you can feel that love. If you go into your church and "feel nothing special" keep searching, don't give up.
Those smaller churches are great when you live in a community where many people know one another, but if you've never been part of that community, how do you get invited into the community of that church?
I'm not talking about getting invited to church. That's easy. But who is inviting you to really be a part of that church. I know, this stuff can make you nuts, it does me. Not everyone wants to commit to things, but how does anyone know unless asked. Who gets asked? The people who are friends of people, the connections, the co-workers, the buddies. Would anyone know in that church you died unless they read it in the paper? Does the caring extend only to meet and greet, collection and see ya next Sunday? Oh yeah the handshakes too, which make me uneasy. Who knows what people have or if they washed their hands with SOAP? Look at them in front of you with their hands all over the spouse, or wiping somewhere, scratching, picking, digging in their scalp, then oow, let's shake...yuck!
I can still go back to Zion where people are ancient now, like me, and still get that feeling, but to be honest, I think it's more the memories of that feeling.
Living in Oregon once, I was invited to a Presbyterian church, and ended up going quite a lot. It was a pretty big church, but that feeling of love was felt. I felt it. That's the kind of feeling that makes a person never ever want to miss church again, ever. As a stranger with a baby son, I was invited first to a dinner, a big dinner. Lots and lots of tables. I said sure. The guy and his wife John and...forgot his wife's name, Osborne, and two kids, me and my son would all sit together. as I turned after a thanks, he shouted out, oh bring a dish! Wha... a dish? Are you collecting plates?
No he said, a covered dish as in a salad, stew, macaroni etc. Out table will share he said. Ohhhhhh.... I walked away FEELING like I was as good and I counted,as they did, that it was just as important for me to give as all the rest. Yes, I do know who ever may read this that some churches don't want people to feel indebted, as if conditional. But no one ever says bypass the collection plate, their new. About that. I think the collection plate s should be kept in back of the church. What if people really, really can't afford to tithe? But are so embarrassed by a plate passing in front of them and of course nosey people watching. Do I sound bitter? I'm not. I just feel as if i look and listen at what goes on in churches.You see them stare.
A couple of months ago I was invited to church because someone knew I loved this one lady singer. Oh that voice. I would pay to hear her, anytime, anytime at all. It was Christmas three years ago, and I so much enjoyed the Christmas Eve service, telling my daughter and her friend that this young man was going to paint and we couldn't miss it. She knew she better go or else.(kidding) So we sat, we listened, we watched, and then, then this lady sang. As I write this I am a little misty. Shh-just thinking how I felt. I felt her feeling withing her music. When I left church that night it was just as if I was back at Zion, loved surrounded.
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