First Foster Child(adult) Found-But Again....

       A few days ago my daughter found the first foster son who I've been searching for, for such a long time. He actually has, had five accounts on FB. I'm not sure where or how to begin with what I felt when I saw some of his life, what he's joined and the tragedy that hit him hard. He had a baby girl who died and I'm not sure how long after birth as he had a picture of her as a newborn sitting on a table with candles, as a memory of passing on.
        He now has a son about four or five years old and I did see on yet another FB account a daughter about three, Those children are beautiful and the boy looks like C.B.'s twin. But he, he is lost in a world that I can only imagine.
         C is part of  a group, that some may call a cult. I see it as a group of young men and some women, not many who are lost, feel they don't belong to the average society or any society except the one there in. This is what happens when kids feel like they no longer matter. They seek to matter, no matter how. They want to be counted, loved, mattered and have a feeling of being needed. 
           I never would have recognized him if I didn't study his face, as well as looking at his other pages. There is one picture where he is sitting and he states' I feel like I'm going crazy. Deeply sad of course. As I look on his Fb pages I don't see any family connections and then I saw a photo of his sister who lives out of state. Both C and his sister who was a baby at the time and an older brother were all in foster care.
     His brother was a few years older and lived with a family who treated him more like a servant than a child. When I met him along with the father and baby sister, he said he was just going to take it until he was old enough to graduate and get out. He did complain to his caseworker who told him, all kids have chores. I believe that. It's easier than confronting a foster parent who's obnoxious and moving a child. The boy didn't want to move. He liked his school and was involved in football, had friends.
       Well as rough and sad as my first foster son looks, I am still trying to find him, hoping to just talk, learn what happened in between. It's always the in between and what happens prior to foster care that counts.

He Doesn't Weigh an Inch

       Have you ever heard that expression? I haven't. As a neighbor of my daughters' came over to see us the other day, she sat and drank coffee and listened and watched my grandson play. We chatted about all kinds of things. This lady and her husband have become another set of grandparents and love this little guy to pieces.
        His love is returned as he often tells them he loves them, gives hugs and waves. He also loves to watch the house they live in as the garage door opens and closes. He's like a monitor, or the neighborhood watch, all in one little package. If the man gets in his car to run an errand, baby boy comes dashing back to the table or living room, yelling, car! car! When the man returns home and opens the garage door he yells door! door!
         Well as his new grandma finished her coffee watching this little bundle of happiness lift something, she just grinned and said, he doesn't even weigh an inch does he? That was the first time I ever heard that expression, maybe the last unless Grandma says it again. I love it and her relation to this baby of, unexpected expectations.

More than Gun Control, McVeigh, Jim Jones, Terrorists, Illegals

        Every time we have a murder by gun, people want gun control. Where were they before they were personally touched by this? I know, this sounds cold, but the fact is, this is more than lack of gun control. Our American citizens die by illegal guns, joining cults, Illegal drugs, legal drugs, alcohol, terrorists and now of course and as usual Politicians jump on this and as I saw Hillary Clinton reading from a speech prepared, looking at it sideways, thinking we are stupid and can't tell she is reading off a paper. That's not from the heart !
    Look at our penal system, our whole way of life has to change. We have things that have been happening over and over for years only now it's worse because the population has grown. Our mental health system is only okay. Everyone appears to do what they can. Our education system is failing, yet maybe they too are doing as well as they can with what they have.
    How many of our own citizens have bombed our own citizens and look at the Jim Jones Massacre and that guy, forgot his name who also had a cult school, blew them all up, then the uni bomber and we have crazies out there molesting our kids, people in trust positions. We are living in a sick and crime filled nation and crooked politicians do not care. They have had enough time to show they do, and they haven't shown anything except how to fill their pockets, get more entitlements for themselves and spouses and screw the public.
     Kids want to go to college to better themselves but get out owing many, many thousands of dollars in student loans and in debt with credit cards because the new students books are filled with applications for  , a new credit card. Then they get/receive too much in loans and grants. Kids are kids and all that extra money looks good. IT can be controlled but no, banks and colleges work to get students into debt.
     The next big topic will be whatever tragedy happens and hits the news. When a bunch of boys rape a college girl, that will be the next biggest thing, a group of kids commit suicide by layng on a train track, that's new until, kids are molested at a day care, and then again, drugs will be the next politicians topic of the day.
     So what do we do and how do we fix things? Be really careful in who you vote for and why. As parents, keep your kids close to you as much as possible, and don't chastise them when they open up about awful things they've done, because you've done it too probably, but let it become a way to help. Things always start at home. Know as much as you can who the friends are, what they're like. Learn about Mental Illness, and learn some more. Let friends come over, have snacks, supper, let them gather in the living room, and you just pop in and out. Always let them know you only love, love, love them and will help, help and help some more. Go to them once in a while, ask for their thoughts, make them important too. join a gym together, take art, swim, knit, men and ladies, ask for math help and love them again.
 Well that's good enough for now. Get a good nights sleep.

Josh Duggar, Family, Perspectives

          Like many it was horrible sad and feeling of being conflicted about this. To me there isn't any excuse for child molesting. People who do this are first cowards as they do it in secret, bullies because they threaten and the worst of the worst when it comes to criminals. They change what should have been a different outcome for a child. Child molesters are usually people we know, fathers, brothers, sometimes an aunt, babysitter, best friends and those in power who we put trust in, Catholic Priests, Lutheran minister, Jewish Rabbi's School coaches and counselors. I worked in mental health and in a group home there was a teen who was confused by another female who was bi sexual and trying hard to get this very pretty and innocent teen to go her way.
      She confided this in a counselor at a mental health agency who ended up taking advantage of this young girl. It wasn't long before her confusion in her Catholic faith and her family telling her how sinful it was, that she took  a gun and killed herself.
     Now we have a young man who when he was a teen took advantage and molested his sisters. The family thought they took care of it by doing what was right. They went to the law !!!  WHO does that in families?   Mine sure didn't. They swept the garbage under the rug and because of the nasty family secrets that mothers keep, how many other kids are molested? YOU can't keep an eye on two kids all the time, never mind nineteen. But then the parents took them to counseling-again did what was right !!! Creating a paper trail, they believed helped heal all the children. So now the whole fairly is punished because of what one boy did, a boy. I am not excusing this at all. Kids experiment with those closest to them, but this is also a problem when parents don't want to openly talk about sex.
    Imagine if they did nothing, for just a few moments. Josh Duggar would continue to do what he did and yes I know-maybe he still is or maybe he will repeat. This is a stain on the family. The whole world knows.  Who is the bastard that leaked it-what were they paid to continue to cause harm to the girls ????
People will look and stare at these girls and wonder "which one was it is it that one?" They will watch to see the effects of long ago, Any wrongs they might do, any misjudgements they may make will be blamed on being molested.
      I hope who ever leaked this is shamed. I hope he or she made enough money that they sleep at night and more than anything, I wonder did that happen to them and is that why they didn't care about the victims in this.?  Let me tell you I am looking at this from a totally different perspective and if it was the father, I would be the first to drop him off in the middle of an ocean, put the needle in his arm,. flip the switch. Those poor girls. Hey just  a thought, recently an old friend stated those who accuse usually do-so to the one who exposed...are you molesting? BTW, I know that isn't all true, but to a small extent it is. Those girls-did you really ever think about them as you collected a big fat check? I doubt it. When people really care, it's never about money.

UNcLaimed Property-New Year-Get Yours Now

       Have you checked your state, other states where you've lived and family names in any states at all? Start the year off by searching and finding something you or  a family member left behind.
  Here are a few examples of money held at the state treasury department in your state:

1. Old utility deposits
2. old bank accounts
3. pensions
4. auto premiums
5. ins claims
6. hospital refunds- and yes, old paychecks and more

          **** and what you also should know is-if you have, had  a family member with a mental illness so many times they have money left in the state treasury office. People who move around with those illnesses many times have hospital stays and sometimes have worked. Their jobs no longer know how to contact so paychecks go to the state.

PCXpert in York New Salem Pa.

       Need help, advice, lessons, yes they do all of that and more. I was pleasantly surprised at the services they offered especially lessons! How many computer repair companies offer lessons ? I know, I know, price, well that's something you have to talk to them about and budget for,maybe.  We all have a different set of priorities so if you need lessons and don't want to travel far, don't want to sit in a classroom, don't want to look for a parking place, won't be distracted by a group of classmates, odors, and have to be there the same time each day, then this is for you.
      I am not related, if I was, boy would I be lucky. Anyway not to tear down another business,(no names) but I called someone else locally who wanted sixty bucks to look at it, then tell you what's wrong and charge accordingly. Also he mentioned the turn around time was one to two weeks. Sure that can mean they are very busy because they re very good, or it can mean something else. They might be just as good, I don't honestly know. However I do like the fact that when I walked in to PCXpert, one of the guys, Brian or Bryan, set my computer up, knew instantly it was a virus. He gave me a price and I said okay.
     Early the following week Shawn delivered my computer, set it up and talked with me, to me, about this n' that concerns with my computer, such as I need a cable for my screen as it goes off and on. Today we were on the phone as he was helping me with an issue I had and I think now it has a lot to do with AOL.
       PCXpert sells computers, sells new and refurbished computers and laptops.  Seriously people, support local businesses-if they are good in what they do, honest people and talk to you like your business matters, because that is exactly how I have been treated at PCXpert.
   They are located on Main street in York New Salem close to Twin Pines and Rutter's. These are young men, not kids, and have families like you and I. They know their business is their livelihood  and this community should check them out as they check out your computer. They are up to speed  in the world of technology, so if it's speed you want, PCXpert is the place for your printer, computer, laptop and knowledge. Take a class, learn a little more and hey, you can even give a gift certificate to someone for a class/lesson. Now that I mentioned that, I don't know personally that they give gift certificates, but I'm sure they can work that out with you. By the way, if they repaired this computer, they can repair yours.
   Their number is 717 792 0005
 Check out their website-you can even have repairs done without leaving home !
        www.PCXpert.com  (not com)
  

Parents? How many Chances ?

    I'm sure many have read the recent article about a so called man who left his baby in the hot car while he worked a seven hour shift and the police found  a  search on his computer about how long does it take for an animal to die in a hot car. The police also say it isn't proven yet if he was the one to complete the search.
   Sometimes I do hate to be fair. I know if you are under so much stress you do almost forget and even forget a sleeping baby in the back seat, but you still have to take the punishment and sure many will say but he's already punished enough.

   Well I for one am sick of seeing so many neglectful and even abusive parents get chance after chance to bring a child home , only  to do it again. Is this all because of the cost? If a child goes back home, that means no more foster care costs. If a child is adopted the state still pays a stipend until the child is either eighteen or twenty-two and in college, and the same with kin-ship foster care and guardianship, so do they just want to save the state money at the cost of the life of a child? End of Story. Or is it ?

Who Are Your Parents?

       Do you really know? Have you seen your birth certificate? Why aren't people answering your questions? Kids have a right in my opinion to know birth parents, the real birth parents and yes, I know, every situation is different. But here is a situation I am very aware of. A man dies, leaves behind grown kids who have families of their own, but also a son who very well could be his as that man now has two different birth dates, so who was lying to him. While I know that man was a louse, that doesn't make me unfair to his inheritance.
    There are other situations-KNOW WHO YOU MARRY ! Boy is that hard because you love one another and trust each other. But I know a few situations where men have married, had  kids, and moved on, some not even divorcing their spouses. Why? Because it costs money. So those kids from those marriages grow up and either never meet, may meet and have different versions of that rotten father or nice father or even by a slight chance marry each other not know they're related.
     How many half siblings know about each other and how many want to meet or not? Maybe one does, pops up unexpectedly feeling elated to finally meet, but then, disappointment. That other sibling never wanted to meet anyone who was related to the rat of a parent who had a child and left only to raise another family or families.
    People should join ancestry.com and start posting who you are, where you came from and connect if possible. If not ancestry, find another way to search for those hidden relatives and put dates together. Father in the army? When? Is it possible  he is or isn't the real father and same with god ol' mom. Maybe there was a kinship adoption and they never told you. Many families have family secrets. Take the lid off the pot and start stirring.

16 Yrs. Married Love it Or List it Couple

       All I kept hearing with this couple was from the wife. She said repeatedly how the changes had to be made to KEEP her Husband. The Husband kept saying, I cant live with this and to be honest I didn't hear how this took off.
       What many couples don't realize is 17/seventeen years of marriage is the danger zone. So married sixteen years with two young sons, the wife and mother would be caught saying, well if this would keep him, that's what I want. She was happy a laundry area was being made to help her, but aah, again hubby says, I want a shower. Her face falls and again she said, if it will keep him, give it to him.
         How to you live like that being stripped of all self respect. Now he knows it too, so why does she need him so badly that she is willing on national television to belittle herself and raise him up so high as if he's Jesus.  Is it money, dependency, love, definitely not respect ?
         IF you saw how often she looked at him, flirty, over smiling as if she had to catch him again. She dressed nicer than he as if he no longer had to try but she had to try harder. He barely looked at her. IS this marriage already gone? Has he cheated or about too? Now that he knows how much she is willing to do to keep him, his head along with his thumb is extra large and the next thing in a skirt will take him away anyway. I would love the kids and list him !

Specific Ways to Improve Income

                 I am going to give, offer you positive way to bring more money into your home, your life, way of living to help you pay off your mortgage sooner and I am dead serious.
         Okay so most of you know all about, get an extra part time job. Well usually that part time job in you live in a big city cost more to get there and back again, leaving you making little towards that extra bill and so on. Living in the country, you know you need a car.
     So here are some part time jobs you don't want, newspaperman/woman, bartender, bodyguard, babysitter, unless it can be done in your home.
    My interest in putting this out there is because I was presented with it the same way, that I could consider it a part-time job, but there isn't anything part time about it. It is definitely full-time and can be very wearing. Here goes: Foster Care.
    Talk to your spouse or partner or if a single person, talk to your self. This take planning. You are bringing a child into your home you know nothing about, except for what is written on paper. As you go you learn more. Habits, sleeping, food, clothing , like, hates and more. So starting off, you can actually choose age, and gender as well as culture.
   When I started I was told I would be paid once a month and then it helped me beyond belief as I was single, worked full time in mental health, brought home very little and also worked part time as a youth advocate where I spent my whole measly check on the kids, but I enjoyed it very much.
    Adoption is another issue that comes up with foster care. You may be asked if you would consider being a pre-adoptive parent. Adoptive continue to get a monthly stipend for the child they adopt to help with financial needs and get this, which sounds awful. They want you to negotiate !!!
   Here is my advice if you think about checking into this. Look into foster care agencies. Do Not go right to Children and Youth. Children and youth barely pay you what might amount to babysitting for half a day. There are so many kids who need a home and you could be that one person or family who gives a child or children a chance at a whole brand new life. It isn't easy at all, but it is definitely worth it. Good Luck to  new foster parents. By the way, you can live in an apartment, home, mobile home, just not a tent:)

3 REASONS PEOPLE YELL !!! W.I.E.

   What does WIE stand for ?

1.     Wrong-they know they are wrong but refuse to be graceful about it so why not yell=stupidity
3.     Insecure-about most things. Although they will huff and puff and say that's BS, so why do they remain in a same low paying job when obviously according to them they can do anything, or stay with someone who pulls them down, can't save, maybe depressed too, blame others and of course will tell you how much better their siblings were treated so others only have one perspective. The truth be known, that insecure person has probably cost so much angst in families or has addictions also leading to low self-esteem.  Always easy to blame others.Whew. This insecurity is something.
5. Embarrassed-   Embarrassed because they know they are wrong, that the other person is right and that the YELLER only has correct information about things that no one else is interested in any more because they have heard the YEllER repeat all of that useless knowledge over and over again to let people know they have some smarts. They have also become boring but friends and some family listen because they are friends and do love them. Maybe they even have some shame,guilt and fear too. Why? Because of the limited ability they have to succeed or think they are limited. People don't try because they are afraid of failure. If you don't try no one can say, you failed. But indeed you did, because you just wouldn't try. Success is a bitch-you have to put yourself out there.

Why Are You Yelling ? A Harmfull Giver

      I bet you never forgot when someone you loved yelled at you, or even a boss or some jerk in a car. Did you ever see a parent yell at a child? I remember those times and wish I was punished differently. Those words said so harshly, in a big bully way only tell a kid, if you can do it so can I. What an example ! One temper tantrum in exchange for another. Make sense?
    Then we have people who yell from jealousy, truth they can't handle, insecurity and power, physical power over others, and what does that accomplish? Well, the yeller feels , I'm not taking that from anyone and mouths off, weeks, months or years down the road not remembering what he or she inflicted on the receiver.
    It's always like that. The Harmfull Giver gives all the nastiness and mean he or she can conjure up in that state of mind, later denying that was ever said. Now go ask the receiver of those words. Word for word they do remember and distance is created. Hurt is inflicted and questions asked. WHY? What is wrong with that person that he or she has to be so damn mean. It becomes like a river, deep and wide memories filled with, questions of why. Why do I want to see that person again, what did I ever personally do, is he or she so jealous I'm no longer counted so therefore pain can be inflicted with words, all because I have my own opinions.
     When I say my own I speak, well hell you know what I mean-I barely have a mind :) People assume that you don't know what you're talking about, but usually all of that yelling comes from insecurity. Maybe the one being yelled at, is younger, handsome, pretty, self supporting, secure, has a lot of friends and just plain happy. But that threat of harmful words has an intention.
    That intention is to rip apart, make that person as miserbale as he or she is inside, as poor, as insecure, as lacking in emotional control, as dependant that they are on others and just plain self absorbed as they are. Usually those people are pretty academically intelligent, socially acceptable and likeable. But that's it and in life, that's just not enough.
     While I know the next part is personal, so what, who cares. My father was like that. If he couldn't have friends calling him as my mother did, he would tear apart the friends. Sound Familiar? If she was happy in her work, he found fault with the job and people in it. If she was making more money than he,( which was rare) he turned that upside down as well. When she dressed nicer and like life more, he made it so she felt clothes made her a better person that he.Not true. She just took pride in her appearance. No matter what he tried to make something miserable from it.
     So next time someone is yelling, sure feel bad, very bad for the receiver, but just as much for the yeller. Chances their insecurity is just something they refuse to see and know, they want everyone else to suffer. A mental illness ? Possibly. If you're being yelled at, take it all into consideration and either walk away or try to calmy answer in short answers. Think about a letter next time instead of a visit. If you live in the same home, something has to change. Why allow that to be inflicted on family members? Becuase of size? A louder voice? More dominant? You have a few choices. Walk away. Counseling...talk to frineds. No one has to take it and put themselves in a place to be abused that way. A botton line is the yeller is afraid. Afraid of loss, afraid you count more in life than the yeller does, afraid of your security, so, so afriad.

Mercy Ships, for Africa, Christians

   It's been a while since I saw this story, but since it was on again tonight I watched it. This show was a bit different, showing people with tumors that come from Dental disease and then are treated as if they were invaded by evil spirits, in Africa. The faces were covered, disfigured, and people barely able to breathe, but saved by Mercy ships.
    Mercy Ships are funded by Corporations, and Christians missions and the people who donate their time and talents? They pay to go. Imagine volunteering all of your medical knowledge and service and paying to go, to belong to this unique group of men and women?
   These are true Christians. We just don't hear enough about them. No matter where they are, they are there. but we hear more about crime and evil. I guess that makes for better news and captures out curiosity or nosiness.
    People now have vision and can breathe and are no longer disfigured thanks to Mercy Ships. A great thing.

Save MONEY with "TIMEBANKING" Self Worth

    I know I already posted about this, but have to add a few things also about being an economical person. RECYCLE at Best BUY-FREE. They will take your old TV's up to 32 inches free and recycle. They will also take your PC's and remove the hard drive while you wait.

    I just saw this as it was tweeted to me, by way of Danielle Dellorto and thought it was a good reminder. Remember what made you happy before everyone started defining you. Now that's a good one !

   Okay Time banking. Please research it. Most states and many cities and towns now have time banking. Remember the hippie generation when the older folks made fun of them? Possibly some jealousy there? I think they had a lot of life right. They shared and helped with each others kids, gardens, needs and troubles, and they celebrated the good and mourned the not so good. Sure we remember all the free sex but isn't that the same topic being talked about just about everywhere today?
    With Time Banking it's strangers and also people who know each other or about each other, who are there to help each other, the way things are meant to be. So take any money you may have set aside for some repair job and just save it, or donate it to a good charity.
     There is also something now growing called Little Free Libraries. No fines. Imagine an idea without always digging in your pocket because time got away from you. Books are the greatest gifts we have to share with children. You can take a book or books, return or not, but please replace with another book or books. Yes, it is that simple and generous. These are all good hearted people who don't have it in mind to see what they can get, but what they can give and when that principle applies to us all-just imagine the outcome. What can you give? We all have worth.
 

Bombers' Parents & Families

      Tonight I saw a very angry father hearing his twenty-six year old son was killed by the police and his wife on the side saying they have no proof. Yes, they do have proof, but I understand why they're angry, simply because they can't believe they're boys would so such a thing.With all of the news, there is nothing but proof, but imagine being the parents of these brothers? Chances are they will never believe it, after all these guys were doing  very well here in America for such a long time.
        What made them turn against a country who welcomed them with open arms. Was it the fact that the other brother could not box for the US because he wasn't a citizen? Did they want to be religious hero's of some kind? No one knows anything yet, anything to give the public an idea about all of the whys.
    An Aunt in Canada stated they were set up. Who put the bomb in the older brothers hand to throw at cops? Is that being set-up? But that's how families respond when they know their kids, and nephews in a way we didn't know them.
     As I watched the angry father yell how the police killed his son, there were no words of compassion concerning the people here who were killed, maimed and whose families' lives were split in two because of these two young men. I wonder if the younger brother just wanted to be like his older brother and never thought about an ending. What an ending. So very sad.
     This is a Christian community in Boston as in many cities. and I bet you will hear people saying, we have to pray for their parents too. No one wins. Lives are lost, shattered and twisted and now fear and suspicion will replace trust and bravado. But I suspect not for long. People do go on. Time does heal and coping takes over.
       Right now, possibly because the younger brother is alive, so far, the parents of these two will realize something changed and hopefully will learn and accept the truth no matter how hard and how deeply it hurts and will have to emotionally face the little kids they raised, lost there way. They will also have to face that horrible word, terrorist. Can you imagine?

Mormons, Irish, Italians, Swedes, Polish, Senderos

       Many of these backgrounds have one thing in common. They believe in keeping it in the family. By that I mean the cultural and ethnic family. I grew up in New York and love the variety of cultures because as the human race, we need each other and should be there to help another person. That's my personal belief.
       I look at ancestry.com and see old world families and yes, you might now be saying, that was then, we live in a different world now. True and in many ways it's sad. Generations of Asians were always proud when a daughter married into her culture as is the way with Italians. Mama would say to a son, now bring home a nice Italian girl. Then what follows are the babies in Christening dresses, years of family photos, all Italian. Family celebrations were all Italian.
      Yesterday I saw an old movie with Billy Crystal, who played a young doctor. His father who he didn't see for years was dying. The dad played by Alan--- for got his last name, an old comedian, but is Jewish as is Billy. Billy's girlfriend in this was a Christian and as a joke would address each other as, Hey Christian, hey Jewish. That seemed fine, and maybe because they looked alike.
       A polish family I knew growing up had a Christmas party and I worked at a polish store where kielbasa was made. So one night I went home with my friend and was introduced to the biggest Polish family I ever saw and ouzo. Mom and dad and big brother got into an argument about another daughters boyfriend. He was Spanish, and when my friend got the camera out, at that moment the boyfriend walked in and all hell broke loose. The father started yelling, no, no he is not in pictures in broken English.
     CRAPOLA, he sounded like my father who gave my sister a list of people she better not ever bring home.
     Maybe it was that kind of upbringing that allowed me to be open to everyone. Who was I not to? My best friends as a kid was a lifelong friend my Jewish neighbor, Mr. Korsun, my Lutheran Norwegian minister and my Catholic Italian Grammar school principal, love of my life. I was blessed. It all comes down to who we identify with  and who we're comfortable with.
      As a last note, when I worked in Mental Health, we offered all kinds of groups and the population consisted of mainly white people, a few black people and a few Asian people. But there was another big group room called Senderos.
This group was Puerto Rican. I would visit that room daily, sometime twice a day and if a staff was out, I would work with that group. Why? I was comfortable and maybe because I saw how uncomfortable others were. seek out what you may not know about. you may be happily surprised.

Eggs, A Teen saves Family! What a kid !

       Now this is what's right about some kids. You know what I mean. We find fault with society concerning all of the rights of kids, parental priorities concerning how to need a certain amount of money because of things, or wanting those things. Yes I know too, many times it is necessary for two parents to work, and in this family it wasn't any different.

    The father worked for a utility company and the mother worked as a pharmacist while the teen aged daughter went to school. This story was on the Sunday Morning show.

    One day mom found herself sick, struggling to walk, not able to feed herself, dress herself and more. She had Multiple Sclerosis and spent all of her time laying down on the sofa and ended up in a nursing home. The parents decided not to tell their young teen what was wrong, yet she knew and she also knew things were getting tough. This kid decided to do something about it. What a kid!

    She went to her grandmother who gave her a loan. This young girl worked out all of the numbers, costs to do what she wanted to do, and so she bought chickens. Yes, she started an EGG BUSINESS ! Last year she made 15,000. which saved the home and family. Mom is back home and much better. Dad gives his daughter all the credit for, as he stated, "keeping the wolves away from the door."
   This teen is now saving for college as the help isn't any longer needed. Yet she says, it's there for mom and dad if they do need it. Now this is a kid with values. What would your child do in the same situation?

Shooter into School-kid asks, who's to BLAME?

     Yes, I realize we don't know yet and so many are guessing but I bet many are thinking the same thing and many are still wondering;How did he get in if his mother wasn't there? How or why was this young man allowed into and elementary school? My guess? They knew him, plain and simple.
     Most people are basically friendly, and I know at a local High School I go to many times because I have kids there that I meet with in some aspect or another, I am easily allowed in. If I say I have an appointment, I'm buzzed in and sometimes, I get buzzed in as soon as they see me over the screen. It isn't checked until I am in the outer office that I actually have an appointment.
    So was this similar to today? Was this young guy let in because they knew him and thought he was just stopping by to visit.
    The young boy I care for asked me tonight, so who do you think is to blame? for this happening. Blame is seen very different by people who accept blame and people who love to blame others-in my opinion. I let him know, my feeling was without knowing all the facts yet, maybe who ever didn't lock up guns and bullets separately and then hide the keys elsewhere. I just spoke with my son a few nights ago about guns, safety and a hunter who accidental killed his child forgetting he had a bullet left in the chamber. It was a long discussion. I think women hate guns more than men.
    Anyway, this young boy in my home feels it was the fault of the school because they let him in. I then told him it is solely the fault for now of the shooter who also proved what a coward he is by taking his own life. Okay maybe it's going to come out he was mentally ill and maybe a doctor or shrink of some sort knew the possibility of today's action. Yet many times no matter who we are, we end up saying, if only I knew, If only I saw the signs. But we don't think to look for signs when we help people no matter what position we're in, every single time.
    Who's to blame? Does it matter now? Yes, and right now is when people need to make different plans for allowing people into schools, sadly just as they do onto planes? Make a meeting room so that people can't get any further that a certain dividing space between classes and a reception area. No wonder more parents are home schooling children. It isn't only what kids see and do in school, it's who comes into their schools to do it to them.

Hey Parents, Get Ready, Christmas? Why?

      Christmas is for the celebration of the Birth of Jesus if you believe in Him, and for families. If not then why are people buying so many gifts for people who don't appreciate it, and all they think about is me, me , me.
       Do you give back during the year, or just take any time you can? What is good enough for some isn't for others. Some are happy to have a home to live in, rent to pay, groceries to buy, clothes to wear and some are never satisfied, no matter how much you give and give and give. Any time now the stores and ads on TV will be sending those endless greedy messages to children to put parents payroll checks in their hands instead of keeping it in the family.

      So do yourself  a favor, make sure you spend what you think you're going to on Christmas for those who deeply need it like, St. Judes, Cancer research, MDA, and many more. I know this all sounds so cliche, but Christmas is for Jesus and Church and families. Spend it with those you love and who love you, even with those you might just care about.
   Electronics? No way!!!

Mrs. Vitalo, It Really is the Little Things

 What a surprise I received today in the mail and like many years ago when my daughter got the mail and called me, I had to call her. Although from two different people who were married, and I still think of them that way even though Mr. Vitalo passed away in nineteen ninety-nine, I received a card from Mrs. Vitalo and I smiled and smiled.
   A best gift ever for sure.
I know when you talk about gifts with kids, and not all kids, it is the big things that matter, but as we grow, mature and have families of our own we know what counts and it doesn't come in a big package. That's how it was today. This was a small miracle.
      You see the address was wrong. It had a box number on it and an RD 2 in front of it. It was close to how my address was years ago, many years ago. Now my address is a plain four number address without any numbers at all as I used to have. However it was an easy mistake, the 1199AA-used to be 1119A-and in this area mail is not delivered to a wrong address without some return and a correction, a black line through it for sure. So why and how? How did someone decide I was that person meant for this card, this year. Why? Someone up there likes me?
      Mrs. Vitalo, I was always thankful to you for your graciousness . You were ever so kind to Jenny and I, inviting us into your home with Mr. Vitalo. I was the luckiest kid alive to know him growing up, and then, and then to re-meet him with you his wife and some family. Jenny and I had good times, laughs, lunches, hugs and for me, A Yellow Rose. One which Mr. Vitalo picked as you held Jenny back a little so I could talk freely. But I still choked, said little, and was just amazed that I was where I was.
     Mrs. Vitalo Jenny said when we left your home after that first time, Mom, now I know why you loved him all those years. I thought about saying that or not, but yes like many kids I loved him. Like many kids I didn't have a true male role model and it was that kind of thing.  He was a big brother, father, friend and mentor and minister. You know how kids grow and talk about their dads to their kids, well I talked to my kids about Mr. Vitalo. My son once said, Mom I only wish I met Mr. Vitalo.
        Then I told my son how Jenny and I went to the Island and met Mrs. Vitalo. I let Michael my son know how our visits were, and how Mr. Vitalo offered me a beer, saying, hey Nance want to have a beer with your old principal? Well I am sorry I passed that up and thought about it many times.
      Mrs. Vitalo, Thank you. Thank you for the time you gave to me and to Jenny. Even now she says mom, remember.... and we exchange stories about the Island visits.  Just as important and I know I'll misspell this, she loves to say tchotchkies. Anytime she looks for those little heart warmers, she'll call and say mom, I'm tchotchkie hunting. She got that from you. We remember meeting you after TJ Maxx at the Pizza place with that cool coat. You said oh this ol' thing. This is Nicks. I love it; he doesn't ever wear it anymore but it's just nice and comfy for me. It was a light reddish and grey plaid coat with beer barrel buttons and big square pockets. It fit perfectly.
      Well a lot of time has passed, and to let you know Jenny is taking Mr. Vitalo's advice as he said, Jen, Make your money while you're young. She is a go getter, single and living in Delaware. I sent you a couple of cards, and called a couple of times, left messages, but not sure if you ever got them so I decided maybe it was time for me to fade away. So to get this card today. Well Mrs. V. It was just like the first time when Mr. Vitalo replied after I sent him a note while at Penn State.
       Then came a sad time, so sad for you and all his family and anyone who knew him. Sitting in your living room some time later, surrounded by an unfillable void, I couldn't understand how good you could be to invite me; and with your daughter, your grandson all so kind. It was truly heartbreaking. Yet, even with that, you took me to an album and shared his last days with the family. He was so loved, as you are. I was humbled. When people talk about a love made in Heaven, they must mean the Vitalo's, all.
        Mrs. V. I hope to see you in the Spring or before. I love you, Nancy