Free Education Law Center-offers HOPE

       Hello Parents

                    We don't know what we don't know until someone else lets us in or until we have the problem and search and search until we find answers. By then it may be too late. I live in Pennsylvania and there is an ELC here, and there is one in every state. If there isn't, there is one close by in a bordering state who will still help you at no cost to you.
            The Education Law Center is in business to make sure your child's needs are being met. So many children of all ages are becoming criminals because they have disabling issues, mental health problems not being taken care of in connection with education, So what do schools usually want to do? Suspend, over and over and then send to a lock down behavior school and finally a residential placement.
     None of that is an answer when your child's needs are not being met and isolation is not the answer. My local school appears to ignore the fact that the child in my care is on the autism spectrum. Sure they have told me, and the team that he gets sensory things to help him through. IS that the same as an autism class or school? No way at all.
   These children are choking in a sense to get out of the building for play, to be in a room or rooms with many sensory objects, to have hands on working materials like skilled crafts to teach a life skill which is a very calming method. We had the education law center involved and a pro bono lawyer who finally dropped out as the school said, we cannot keep this child as he's a danger to himself and others. So now they want to home school him at five hours a week. But I have found a school, Soaring Heights which appears to really meet his needs. He is on the autism spectrum and yet the school is telling me, that school is for people with autism. What are they missing? He is perfect for this school and should he get in and not make it, then at least   everything will have been done,
         Now what is needed once again for children with behavioral problems is early vocational training.
There are so many things to teach children and it doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg-Schools don't ever put football on the back burner do they? But they will put troubled kids on the back burner. So I say to all parents, call the Education Law Center, don't quit! You are all your child has.

Summer Plans ? Kids, Money, Time and Bills

               How many families realistically expect to go away for a summer vacation? Understanding what your life is about makes you the only person who knows if you can really afford a summer vacation. In a way, It's like Christmas.  You spend so much money on going away and come home to bills and then say, what did I do. Sure you gave your kids a good time, but now you're stuck with credit card bills.
       There are many ways you can show your kids a good time in an inexpensive way at home. But don't break your  financial plan, mess up to pay it all back and next thing you know Christmas is here. Also let your children know summer vacation really means that their job which is school is not in session and that alone is summer vacation time, no getting up at a certain time, no eating at a certain time, no schedules if mom and dad don't want to, unless of course you work and have to bring kids to a sitter.

Spring Grove PA. Discriminates/Foster Children

        Some years ago I had a child who I cared for, an African American female who had alopecia and a school aide got away with so many negative things to this girl and she should have been fired. She told her "Where's your wig, you should wear your wig" it was endless.

      Now we have  a child who they refused to place in a proper setting. WHY? Because as I was told, It's so expensive, we can't afford that because I have to be financially responsible for every child. The activity fund for high school kids was more that what was allowed for Special Education at Spring Grove School in PA. Another two comments were "is he staying" and "these foster kids sure move around".

   I know another parent who has a child in the same district and has to fight tooth and nail to have the child participate in activities as in "inclusion". But because the child is special needs beyond what is used to, the easy answer is, push away, and keep pushing until the parents find another way or give up fighting a very rich school.

                   Seven teachers will not be replaced giving the school back 750,000

and building allocations were reduced by 50,000.....Maybe a few just received a higher rate of pay.

     

Those Little Footsteps...No More

       The silence of one is something I enjoy, but I most enjoy a bunch of kids, laughing, being silly, taking them out, making crafts, and simply letting them enjoy being a child. For almost a week I've had two young guests, siblings and you know how that is. Siblings are interesting and fun. No matter how different, they are the same in the important things in life. But I don't mean all siblings.
       I've come to learn about a silence of two, no words to express that except wish to be one again or have a bunch of kids running around, yelling, laughing, playing make believe, reading, and so much more. Kids who have a wide variety of interests are so easy to please. Kids who don't have many interests lack motivation, so it's up to us as parents to try and try again to motivate.
      My time this past week with these little guys brought a refreshed interest. I heard appreciative thank-yous'. I saw facial expressions of fun, laughter, interest, curiosity, sadness, daydreaming and had questions galore. What a pleasure! They talked and asked questions about my children, places I've been, they've been, and where we could go. They talked about things they read, discoveries they've made and their teachers, what they've learned that day. These little guys love their teachers, and how they're taught at school. I wish their teacher's could read this.
        When I drop one brother off at school, another brother and I wait over a half an hour for his bell, and we sit and watch. One by one they drive into the parking lot, open the doors and bags in hand walk past us. He waves. They give him a big smile and wave back. We talk about who each teacher is and he never stops talking, but in such a good way. He's interesting, not just rattling on. He describes them and what they offer to kids. He knows them well.
          The other brother is a big time reader, yet both are. One reads more and he talks too. He talks about his characters and then compares people he meets to having similarities  to some of the characters. He also asks me a lot of questions. He is so cute as is his brother. So individual are they, that they both becomes favorites and  a person just wants to do for them, take care of them, nurture, hug, play, take them to parks, let them stay up a little bit later and just stay little. These little guys give , I think much more than they get. They just don't know it yet. Children of God, definitely, and where ever they are in life I hope people always treat them as treasures...because they are.
           Those little footsteps...I miss them, but hopefully they'll be back:)
        

Mrs. Vitalo, It Really is the Little Things

 What a surprise I received today in the mail and like many years ago when my daughter got the mail and called me, I had to call her. Although from two different people who were married, and I still think of them that way even though Mr. Vitalo passed away in nineteen ninety-nine, I received a card from Mrs. Vitalo and I smiled and smiled.
   A best gift ever for sure.
I know when you talk about gifts with kids, and not all kids, it is the big things that matter, but as we grow, mature and have families of our own we know what counts and it doesn't come in a big package. That's how it was today. This was a small miracle.
      You see the address was wrong. It had a box number on it and an RD 2 in front of it. It was close to how my address was years ago, many years ago. Now my address is a plain four number address without any numbers at all as I used to have. However it was an easy mistake, the 1199AA-used to be 1119A-and in this area mail is not delivered to a wrong address without some return and a correction, a black line through it for sure. So why and how? How did someone decide I was that person meant for this card, this year. Why? Someone up there likes me?
      Mrs. Vitalo, I was always thankful to you for your graciousness . You were ever so kind to Jenny and I, inviting us into your home with Mr. Vitalo. I was the luckiest kid alive to know him growing up, and then, and then to re-meet him with you his wife and some family. Jenny and I had good times, laughs, lunches, hugs and for me, A Yellow Rose. One which Mr. Vitalo picked as you held Jenny back a little so I could talk freely. But I still choked, said little, and was just amazed that I was where I was.
     Mrs. Vitalo Jenny said when we left your home after that first time, Mom, now I know why you loved him all those years. I thought about saying that or not, but yes like many kids I loved him. Like many kids I didn't have a true male role model and it was that kind of thing.  He was a big brother, father, friend and mentor and minister. You know how kids grow and talk about their dads to their kids, well I talked to my kids about Mr. Vitalo. My son once said, Mom I only wish I met Mr. Vitalo.
        Then I told my son how Jenny and I went to the Island and met Mrs. Vitalo. I let Michael my son know how our visits were, and how Mr. Vitalo offered me a beer, saying, hey Nance want to have a beer with your old principal? Well I am sorry I passed that up and thought about it many times.
      Mrs. Vitalo, Thank you. Thank you for the time you gave to me and to Jenny. Even now she says mom, remember.... and we exchange stories about the Island visits.  Just as important and I know I'll misspell this, she loves to say tchotchkies. Anytime she looks for those little heart warmers, she'll call and say mom, I'm tchotchkie hunting. She got that from you. We remember meeting you after TJ Maxx at the Pizza place with that cool coat. You said oh this ol' thing. This is Nicks. I love it; he doesn't ever wear it anymore but it's just nice and comfy for me. It was a light reddish and grey plaid coat with beer barrel buttons and big square pockets. It fit perfectly.
      Well a lot of time has passed, and to let you know Jenny is taking Mr. Vitalo's advice as he said, Jen, Make your money while you're young. She is a go getter, single and living in Delaware. I sent you a couple of cards, and called a couple of times, left messages, but not sure if you ever got them so I decided maybe it was time for me to fade away. So to get this card today. Well Mrs. V. It was just like the first time when Mr. Vitalo replied after I sent him a note while at Penn State.
       Then came a sad time, so sad for you and all his family and anyone who knew him. Sitting in your living room some time later, surrounded by an unfillable void, I couldn't understand how good you could be to invite me; and with your daughter, your grandson all so kind. It was truly heartbreaking. Yet, even with that, you took me to an album and shared his last days with the family. He was so loved, as you are. I was humbled. When people talk about a love made in Heaven, they must mean the Vitalo's, all.
        Mrs. V. I hope to see you in the Spring or before. I love you, Nancy

Turn a Dreary day into a Cheery Day-Brooklyn

       It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...remember that one. Well I woke to rain this morning and felt good. Somehow it reminds me of those fun days in Brooklyn when we'd see a rainbow and sunshine on the other side of the street.
We were allowed to go out in the rain and play, and no one got sick.
       Sometimes it meant playing marbles on the stoop,cards or jacks and other times it was just fun to sit and talk. Moms and dads were doing what moms and dads do and so were kids. Most of the boys would still play stick ball in the rain, just hang out, or if they were bored would come and tease the girls.
       When we'd talk it was about what we wanted to be when we grew up. That's something I don't hear from too many kids today. Maybe it's just me, but I do hear it from much younger kids about ten and under. So what happens as kids get a little bit older? Are they hearing too much dismal talk from adults, not always parents?
         We talk about too many things in front of the kids that instill negative thoughts and feelings and yes they do need truth in their lives, but not so much truth and not so early. Just because your life stinks now, don't pass it onto the kids. Go gently into their hearts. I keep hearing how resilient kids are;really? Why are there so many addictions, suicides, depressive kids on meds, kids killing kids. I could go on but it's too depressive.
         I check myself as a parent many times and ask what if I was them and try to think of another way to say or do something, affordable or not. Weather it's about weight, education, peer pressure (the worst) religion, sex, or dating we have to be very careful. They're are so many creeps out there just waiting to take our kids. No, I don't mean children and youth. I mean gangs, perverts, drug dealers, clubs and more. Be honest with them and don't let them learn something about you that's so horrible from a relative. You know how that goes. Relatives want to be smarter than their siblings too, so what do they do? They let themselves become available to your kids to talk and then the subject comes up....
      Oh I remember when, well did your mom or dad tell you when they got smashed or tried pot? Did they tell you about the friend they had who they went to parties with and...see what I mean. Many adults just want to look better in a kids eyes. Don't let that happen. You remain their role model. Remember what it was like when you were their age and think about an answer and how it will affect them before you open those lips. You thought this was going to be cheery? It can be.
    When your child comes home from school today, don't use the typical line, how as your day, ask something different and unusual? Want a cup of tea with me? Hot chocolate? Ask how they made it through the day and yes, you'll get a look and maybe a, what? What do you mean how did I make it through the day? Same as always I guess. So as mom or dad your answer can be as simple as, well I just wonder sometimes, well a lot of times how you handle teacher attitudes, stuff like that.  HOLD IT PARENTS! 
   If you say kids attitudes, your child will resent that and say why does it have to be kids, why can't it be teachers? Some teachers do have attitudes, but if you get to where your child is now, chances are they'll open up more, might say well mom I have pretty good teachers but this one "kid" always agitates me and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I want to just punch his lights out...so now you're on board, and remember how your parents answered a question you didn't like the answer to. Find some middle ground.
    Today make it a cheery day when your child comes home, not dreary, not one of accusations but listening and sharing. Don't get physically too close(leaning into them) but give some space, talk and walk to a comfortable area, like the sofa-they'll follow. Try hard not to take anyones side, but look for solutions, and look for options so your child has other choices he or she may not think about. Okay people, I am gone now. Later.

Dear Mr. Vitalo.....

    
                                                         Ch1
          I was ten years old when I first saw him, and he was twenty years older than me. I was late for school, and one of my family jobs was to take the laundry before school. We lived in an apartment building in Brooklyn N.Y. on fifty-ninth street just below the school and here I was right before school with a disgusting old bag on my back. It was smelly, sagging, wet and stained and very heavy. I had six brothers, oh almost. One was on the way to make eight kids total. So with five big brothers, ya think one of those big husky boys could take it? Noooo, and there I was with that  big awful muslin bag, on the corner waiting for the light to change.

There stood Peggy the cop in her beautiful uniform, straight, and tall, and in charge. Traffic stopped just to talk to Peggy. I'll tell you more about her later.
           Hunched over, and heaving the bag up higher I heard a bell ring, two more bells and I would be late. My father didn't stand for us kids getting in trouble in school for any reason and that's what I was thinking about when that burdensome bag was suddenly lifted form my shoulder. One hand picking it up in the air, and telling me, hey kid, get to school, get smart! I looked up and saw him. I stood so still afraid to move he was so handsome and nice. He picked that smelly bag, that wet disgusting thing off my shoulder and asked if it went to the laundry across the street. He wore a brown pin-striped suit that I would come to know so well. Still standing close to him, he said a bit more sharply, get to school and I ran. Just as I almost got in the building he yelled, who's your teacher? Miss Poster! I yelled back.
         So that was the guy, the one everyone was talking about, the new young principal all the girls had crushes on, except me of course. It wasn't long before he walked into Miss Posters' class. He stood looking around and she walked over to him smiling like a , well you know that kind of woman. The kind I wished I was just then. Yeah, I was just a kid. Poster had flair, but she was so obvious with her bright red every day lipstick to match her long red nails, and she wore a scarf around her neck, thick mascara, and frosted hair. She also wore spike  heels  and smelled like a perfume factory. I was looking at him as he looked around, and Poster went over gushing at him. Grr, I thought, leave him alone, you go after all of them. He sure was handsome, but I didn't feel a crush, not yet anyway. Then it happened.
          Poster put her hand inside his jacket and asked, Can I do something for you Mr. Vitalo? Yes, that was him, Mr. Vitalo, the new Principal! He quickly and firmly took her hand off him, and said no thank you, I see who I came to see. He walked right to me, laundry ticket in hand and said, it will be ready at three.  He started to walk out and stopped, turned around, and said, hey kid? What's your name? I told him and from then on he just called me Mac. It is was seeing him treat her differently than the other male teachers that started a slow change in me about him. If we could only look ahead.