It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...remember that one. Well I woke to rain this morning and felt good. Somehow it reminds me of those fun days in Brooklyn when we'd see a rainbow and sunshine on the other side of the street.
We were allowed to go out in the rain and play, and no one got sick.
Sometimes it meant playing marbles on the stoop,cards or jacks and other times it was just fun to sit and talk. Moms and dads were doing what moms and dads do and so were kids. Most of the boys would still play stick ball in the rain, just hang out, or if they were bored would come and tease the girls.
When we'd talk it was about what we wanted to be when we grew up. That's something I don't hear from too many kids today. Maybe it's just me, but I do hear it from much younger kids about ten and under. So what happens as kids get a little bit older? Are they hearing too much dismal talk from adults, not always parents?
We talk about too many things in front of the kids that instill negative thoughts and feelings and yes they do need truth in their lives, but not so much truth and not so early. Just because your life stinks now, don't pass it onto the kids. Go gently into their hearts. I keep hearing how resilient kids are;really? Why are there so many addictions, suicides, depressive kids on meds, kids killing kids. I could go on but it's too depressive.
I check myself as a parent many times and ask what if I was them and try to think of another way to say or do something, affordable or not. Weather it's about weight, education, peer pressure (the worst) religion, sex, or dating we have to be very careful. They're are so many creeps out there just waiting to take our kids. No, I don't mean children and youth. I mean gangs, perverts, drug dealers, clubs and more. Be honest with them and don't let them learn something about you that's so horrible from a relative. You know how that goes. Relatives want to be smarter than their siblings too, so what do they do? They let themselves become available to your kids to talk and then the subject comes up....
Oh I remember when, well did your mom or dad tell you when they got smashed or tried pot? Did they tell you about the friend they had who they went to parties with and...see what I mean. Many adults just want to look better in a kids eyes. Don't let that happen. You remain their role model. Remember what it was like when you were their age and think about an answer and how it will affect them before you open those lips. You thought this was going to be cheery? It can be.
When your child comes home from school today, don't use the typical line, how as your day, ask something different and unusual? Want a cup of tea with me? Hot chocolate? Ask how they made it through the day and yes, you'll get a look and maybe a, what? What do you mean how did I make it through the day? Same as always I guess. So as mom or dad your answer can be as simple as, well I just wonder sometimes, well a lot of times how you handle teacher attitudes, stuff like that. HOLD IT PARENTS!
If you say kids attitudes, your child will resent that and say why does it have to be kids, why can't it be teachers? Some teachers do have attitudes, but if you get to where your child is now, chances are they'll open up more, might say well mom I have pretty good teachers but this one "kid" always agitates me and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I want to just punch his lights out...so now you're on board, and remember how your parents answered a question you didn't like the answer to. Find some middle ground.
Today make it a cheery day when your child comes home, not dreary, not one of accusations but listening and sharing. Don't get physically too close(leaning into them) but give some space, talk and walk to a comfortable area, like the sofa-they'll follow. Try hard not to take anyones side, but look for solutions, and look for options so your child has other choices he or she may not think about. Okay people, I am gone now. Later.
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