I bet you never forgot when someone you loved yelled at you, or even a boss or some jerk in a car. Did you ever see a parent yell at a child? I remember those times and wish I was punished differently. Those words said so harshly, in a big bully way only tell a kid, if you can do it so can I. What an example ! One temper tantrum in exchange for another. Make sense?
Then we have people who yell from jealousy, truth they can't handle, insecurity and power, physical power over others, and what does that accomplish? Well, the yeller feels , I'm not taking that from anyone and mouths off, weeks, months or years down the road not remembering what he or she inflicted on the receiver.
It's always like that. The Harmfull Giver gives all the nastiness and mean he or she can conjure up in that state of mind, later denying that was ever said. Now go ask the receiver of those words. Word for word they do remember and distance is created. Hurt is inflicted and questions asked. WHY? What is wrong with that person that he or she has to be so damn mean. It becomes like a river, deep and wide memories filled with, questions of why. Why do I want to see that person again, what did I ever personally do, is he or she so jealous I'm no longer counted so therefore pain can be inflicted with words, all because I have my own opinions.
When I say my own I speak, well hell you know what I mean-I barely have a mind :) People assume that you don't know what you're talking about, but usually all of that yelling comes from insecurity. Maybe the one being yelled at, is younger, handsome, pretty, self supporting, secure, has a lot of friends and just plain happy. But that threat of harmful words has an intention.
That intention is to rip apart, make that person as miserbale as he or she is inside, as poor, as insecure, as lacking in emotional control, as dependant that they are on others and just plain self absorbed as they are. Usually those people are pretty academically intelligent, socially acceptable and likeable. But that's it and in life, that's just not enough.
While I know the next part is personal, so what, who cares. My father was like that. If he couldn't have friends calling him as my mother did, he would tear apart the friends. Sound Familiar? If she was happy in her work, he found fault with the job and people in it. If she was making more money than he,( which was rare) he turned that upside down as well. When she dressed nicer and like life more, he made it so she felt clothes made her a better person that he.Not true. She just took pride in her appearance. No matter what he tried to make something miserable from it.
So next time someone is yelling, sure feel bad, very bad for the receiver, but just as much for the yeller. Chances their insecurity is just something they refuse to see and know, they want everyone else to suffer. A mental illness ? Possibly. If you're being yelled at, take it all into consideration and either walk away or try to calmy answer in short answers. Think about a letter next time instead of a visit. If you live in the same home, something has to change. Why allow that to be inflicted on family members? Becuase of size? A louder voice? More dominant? You have a few choices. Walk away. Counseling...talk to frineds. No one has to take it and put themselves in a place to be abused that way. A botton line is the yeller is afraid. Afraid of loss, afraid you count more in life than the yeller does, afraid of your security, so, so afriad.
