My 9 Day Food Test

       I have had enough ! This didn't start out as a test, but looking at the past nine days, it seems to be that anyway. Stress, food, exercise, happiness, weight control, time management, all in one. But again, that didn't start that way.
     I take care of a child who has been in and out of schools, emotional problems and again waiting  for another school to be found. So he was away and it was time for him to come home again. This time going to get him, I wasn't s upbeat and hopeful as I usually was on other trips. My think was, here we go again and why am I still doing this?
    Anyway we arrived home and just managed the way to a few days before New Years Eve when I decided to grocery shop, like I haven't done in a few years. I also put my firm foot down, more than before. He would no longer spend my time because he put himself in this situation. He is a cute and lovable little guy, yet after two years, something or someone has to give and it felt like me.  Two day before getting him, I woke with a painful and stiff neck adding to my, well to my feelings about it all.
      Well I and he as well went on a plant based way of eating. This I tried three years ago and felt great, no kids in the house. In a month I lost25 lbs without feeling like I was trying. So here I went again and this time, was not buying different foods for this guy. He gained a lot of weight when he was away and he's short. So seven days pass, I lost seven pounds and then thinking I may be depriving him, buy some ice cream and pizza and a donut each. Horrible, just horrible ! Before I indulged I started to sleep better, keep better hours, was popping up off my chair, moving around like crazy.
    Then I indulged and God help me, I just wanted to sleep most of the day and my energy was zapped. I'm not joking. I felt like crap. Well this happened between yesterday and today. I don't want to move. I only want to sit and watch TV. I'm now finished with bring crap into the house for good.
  Tomorrow I wake up and eggs, sweet potatoes wait for me and I them. I made beef broth from a shin bone, have fresh vegetables. Imagine. I just can't wait. Roasted cauliflower ? Never thought I would love that before ice cream. I do.

Siblings, Who WIns The Mothers Day Race

        A couple of days ago I saw a big pinkish lavender envelope in my mailbox at the post office. IT was from my son. Taking it to the car, once inside I opened it and read the nicest words we all love to read. At the bottom he signed his name, love your son Mike, but something near it was scratched out. I didn't pay attention because I didn't have my glasses on and, it was scratched out so what did it matter.
      Every year my son and daughter race to get to me first as far as phone calls. Last year my son called me two days before, saying this is a pre mothers day call, asking, "did Jenny call yet?" I love this silly but funny back and forth love. That's what it is, love.  Then Jenny calls early, so early on Mothers day and yells a happy and in a high voice, "Happy mothers day mom, did Mike call yet?" I think they're close to be tied.
     Then there is father day. Yes, I get fathers' day calls and cards too. I am so loved by my kids, so lucky, so happy that God chose me to have them here on earth-as it will be in Heaven :)
     Well last night, sitting up late I grabbed the card again and read it from Mike. As I neared his signature I looked more closely at what he scratched out, no glasses on but squinting, just couldn't quite make it out. Getting up and sitting at my computer I grabbed my glasses to see what he scratched out. I bust out laughing so hard, I was sure the neighbors heard me. His signature, well he scratched out "Steven". Just a silly thing but so funny and no, it isn't his middle name and no Steven's in the family, but I also always loved that name. So Michael my son, or if you might now be using Steven, Thank you for the hilarious laugh.

       

A Grandson, a Son and a Daughter

         I am so proud of how my son and his wife are raising their little boys.  His wife is very "GREEN" conscious as is my son. They recycle not just on every day things they use, but touch the hearts of many in how they live. Volunteering, giving, helping, teaching and in any way they can help others in their community, they do. They don't just say, I'd like to but... They find a way. I do know we can't all be the same as we all have different lives, ages , health problems, finances, and so on. Oh my son and his wife asked for something the my grandson can create, not anything boxed, not a kit,  or a truck. Well, I have a bunch of cut up pieces of wood for Christmas and he'll be surprised how he'll get them.
         My daughter is the same way. Every year she makes Thanksgiving baskets and with a friend delivers them to those who need a better thanksgiving, or just need some kind of Happy Thanksgiving. She bakes cookies, muffins and adds to what she can when she can besides her full work days. I have watched her grow more and more over the years to be a wonderful giving person.
        Both my son and daughter have always given. My son used to bring at times almost an army of kids home-not always a good thing, but his heart was in the right place. My daughter helped hide a neighbor kid and made my heart jump into my chest as her mom came to me and asked, have you seen...? Uh, oh boy, and yes I told. But it's all about the spirit. One night at two in the morning on a cold freezing rainy night, my son walked two and a quarter miles to help a girl out who stayed the night. She and her dad worked things out that week.
     Another night I heard a knock at the door. It was cold, dark and as I opneed the door, no one was there. It was just myself and my daughter home. She wanted me to get a flashlight and go outside looking.Another knock, soft as a whisper. This happened four times. He was hiding under a tree. The kid was scared. Finally he showed himself. He was a skinny little thing, froze to the bone, afraid of his father. We ended up taking him to the ER, called his father who said, he can stay with you. He did for  a few days, and returned home.  That mans' sons, two ended up in prison, another died and yet another went on to a good life. Through those kinds of times both of my childen said always," let him in!"
       I believe the spirit of Christmas lives in not just my son and daughter, but my sons' wife as well every day. Between my son and his wife and my daughter they will pass a legacy of giving to everyone they touch, like a path made by rivers.

          We all love our children and our children, no matter how we raise them decide on their own to be who they are as adults. Sure a great foundation helps. But I have seen kids come from rotten parents and grow into wonderful people and the other way around, so parents tell your kids how much you love them because of  who they came to be.

        Hey! You two. I love you and thank you. My life has been a life. A life so much better, so much counted because of you two. I am so proud of who you both are and what you've given in life to make the world a better place. Remember too, all of the funny and silly crazy times we've had. I love you.
Merry Christmas, Mom

Bless This House oh Lord We Pray

       Remember that song ? Not just an oldie but better than a goodie. As time and memories of people pass, you will see people who is alone. Many like it just like that and many don't. At the end of every year, TV stations play and show photos of all of those we know as celebrities in one way or another, who have died.
       Yes, they are people too, but what about the moms and dads who have lost sons and daughters in the military, or in sickness or accidents ? What about losing a parent too young, or a child at that tender age-any age is tender. A Child is a child.
        Hearts seem to break harder at this time of year. Why? Because most are happy and those who have lost someone who is precious, who has shared memories and who is loved, is no more. How do you offer a paper wrapped gift when the best gift all parents are given is a child ? How, how can you possibly offer a paper wrapped gift ?
      What you can offer is yourself. Go and just be. Let tears flow, and words of sorrow seep through tears of anguish. Hold them if you can, make tea, sit and listen. If you can, tell about your times. They need to hear it too. Pray, pray and pray some more for God to bless that home that no longer seems like a home. After all, what is a home without the spirit of a child no longer here ? Empty.

Live Raw by Mimi Kirk, sooo good

    Okay I don't get the hands coming together like that, but seems a lot of people are doing it as if they forgot what they were taught, if this is about prayer.
    Now to the book. Out of boredom the other day I picked this up off the shelf, never opened it as I was more interested in wood stuff. I took it home anyway with another veggie book I barely glanced at. That one is going back asap.
     This morning, I opened Live Raw. This is so well done I am anxious to jump start myself by making smoothies. A few she has on one page just have three and four ingredients, not like so many others who have six, seven and eight. With that I might as well make a great salad.
     Live Raw is more than eating raw. It's about your life and what we got away from, how to redo things and I know most of us won't use all of what's in any book, because we are we and unless you move three thousand miles away to some island, it's close to impossible to make as many changes as books suggest.
      My plan for today is after visiting a boy who is away to go right to my grocery store by my home, a health food store to jump start fresh foods. I already have nuts, raisins and frozen berries, so all I need is celery, kale and spinach and yes, some apples. This book is on amazon and I did order it. But for now a library copy will work just fine. Try it, you might like it and isn't this great weather to get things in gear. One last thing...my bike will be on the road again soon too.

Why Are You Yelling ? A Harmfull Giver

      I bet you never forgot when someone you loved yelled at you, or even a boss or some jerk in a car. Did you ever see a parent yell at a child? I remember those times and wish I was punished differently. Those words said so harshly, in a big bully way only tell a kid, if you can do it so can I. What an example ! One temper tantrum in exchange for another. Make sense?
    Then we have people who yell from jealousy, truth they can't handle, insecurity and power, physical power over others, and what does that accomplish? Well, the yeller feels , I'm not taking that from anyone and mouths off, weeks, months or years down the road not remembering what he or she inflicted on the receiver.
    It's always like that. The Harmfull Giver gives all the nastiness and mean he or she can conjure up in that state of mind, later denying that was ever said. Now go ask the receiver of those words. Word for word they do remember and distance is created. Hurt is inflicted and questions asked. WHY? What is wrong with that person that he or she has to be so damn mean. It becomes like a river, deep and wide memories filled with, questions of why. Why do I want to see that person again, what did I ever personally do, is he or she so jealous I'm no longer counted so therefore pain can be inflicted with words, all because I have my own opinions.
     When I say my own I speak, well hell you know what I mean-I barely have a mind :) People assume that you don't know what you're talking about, but usually all of that yelling comes from insecurity. Maybe the one being yelled at, is younger, handsome, pretty, self supporting, secure, has a lot of friends and just plain happy. But that threat of harmful words has an intention.
    That intention is to rip apart, make that person as miserbale as he or she is inside, as poor, as insecure, as lacking in emotional control, as dependant that they are on others and just plain self absorbed as they are. Usually those people are pretty academically intelligent, socially acceptable and likeable. But that's it and in life, that's just not enough.
     While I know the next part is personal, so what, who cares. My father was like that. If he couldn't have friends calling him as my mother did, he would tear apart the friends. Sound Familiar? If she was happy in her work, he found fault with the job and people in it. If she was making more money than he,( which was rare) he turned that upside down as well. When she dressed nicer and like life more, he made it so she felt clothes made her a better person that he.Not true. She just took pride in her appearance. No matter what he tried to make something miserable from it.
     So next time someone is yelling, sure feel bad, very bad for the receiver, but just as much for the yeller. Chances their insecurity is just something they refuse to see and know, they want everyone else to suffer. A mental illness ? Possibly. If you're being yelled at, take it all into consideration and either walk away or try to calmy answer in short answers. Think about a letter next time instead of a visit. If you live in the same home, something has to change. Why allow that to be inflicted on family members? Becuase of size? A louder voice? More dominant? You have a few choices. Walk away. Counseling...talk to frineds. No one has to take it and put themselves in a place to be abused that way. A botton line is the yeller is afraid. Afraid of loss, afraid you count more in life than the yeller does, afraid of your security, so, so afriad.

At What Price...Happiness

     Most people are thinking Thanksgiving, families, football and who to invite over or where we will go. Many of those same people can't afford it. The world is quickly turning into an old newspaper called the Enquirer. Okay maybe not really a"newspaper". As a kid I heard it was called a rag paper. But the funny thing is, I remember stories blazing on the front page showing images of very young children looking like very old people:yes, progeria as we now know it's called. But then adults would say, boy that paper will make up anything for a buck. There were stories about two headed cows, aliens, area 51 and so much more which is now known today as truth.
       Then pedophiles were completely ignored and the victims were, nine out of ten made out to be liars. But I remember those pedophiles. There was Casper the shoemaker, short, dirty from shoe polish with an accent and Mr. Sheen , a well-dressed Irish neighbor who people said was such a nice guy, the candy store owner, a sloppy disgusting pig looking man and of course fathers and brothers on the block. It was all so familiar.
        What makes it worse? The kids who it happened to didn't couldn't and wouldn't talk about it. Every day it was there but the pretense of happiness was better to live with, not easier, just better. No one knew who it happened to so who could you trust to tell. There was one man, a father in the neighborhood who we all knew about. They were Peurto Rican. I remember my mother talking to the mom who was somewhat slow mentally, and her son and one daughter was an almost replica. But one daughter was different. She was of average intelligence and pretty.
Her father was a very handsome man, friendly, talked to many and like most perverts, people thought he was a nice guy-that is until the cops came one day and took him away.
       His daughter was pregnant, and he went away to prison for  a long time. When he got out he divorced his wife and his daughter and they moved in together. Was that happiness for her? What did she sacrifice? Everything.
          Happiness is like the ocean. It comes in waves, and sometimes washes enough old stuff away that the good lasts longer each time. We have to help that goodness along. Just like that neighbor kid, we were told to mind our own business. She was our business. When do we learn and what does it take to get involved where we're told we don't belong.
           If the waves come too fast, you have to step backwards. Remember that cold feeling of getting wet when you're not ready?
    Help someone. Don't always mind your own business, get involved and yes be careful. Have a good Thanksgiving. Try not to gossip about people because you don't know if you're being gossiped about too and don't pass the buck, unless it's to a charity, or a church that is really doing good, and most of all if you think you can't do anything, you can pray. It's still free in these United States. Sleep Well:)