Mental Health's True Stigma

       How do you care for your mental health, or do you even think about it ? Your mind, it's health needs the same amount of attention as your physical health does. So why do so many "smart " people ignore it and knowing they have a problem with what's happening with their brain ?
       The mental health STIGMA isn't the same as it was years ago. Then, because of lack of education and compassion, understanding and personal knowledge as if someone in the family was ill, it appeared as if people were "just nuts". Most people, every day people didn't understand that mental illnesses was something caused by a chemical imbalance and in most situations is genetic.

       Right now, be honest with yourself and look at your family. Do you have a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent or sibling who truly has a mental illness?

         How many times have you heard, it isn't mental illness, so stop saying that, he or she just needs to grow up, get their act together?. How many years has that been the disguise? That's just what it is, a disguise,a phrase mom or dad uses to hide the truth from others, others who probably already know yet are hoping mom or dad, or the sibling with an illness will face the truth and do something.

          I don't mean do just anything like join a gym, join a church, but I do mean do something such as get involved in a community that offers mental health help, weekly or daily therapy. If you do nothing here is where the true stigma comes in, doing nothing. Your real self shows every day in your words and actions and don't think those you work with don't know it. They do. Behind your back they are talking, "what's wrong with him/her ?" They higher ups will be careful in placing you in certain positions. Believe it or not, you're replaceable. I don't care how good or great you are. Younger and smarter are coming up right behind you.

        You can't hide forever in your uniform, the way you dress, wearing a collar, playing sports, shiny shoes, a suit/dress or even how much academic knowledge you may have. It catches up and eventually becomes public. The STIGMA is knowing and doing nothing. One day you will have a full blown breakdown in public, an office, a parking lot, traffic, a classroom, a bank, wherever and not understand why this is happening to you. Here's why its happening to you....you let it, your family let it happen in that disguise. Smart?  If  you ignored, and disguised it this long you probably need long term therapy. NO? That's the Stigma

Suicide, Good-Bye Kiddo

       I won't mention his name as that doesn't serve a purpose, because he is someones' son, a dad to a little boy and ex-boyfriend who was loved by many, and maybe he was a brother too. I don't know the family dynamics but only know he is dead. This morning he hanged himself and I don't know the details. I only know what is important is, he is no longer here, no longer here to be loved and to love others.
     This is the deepest kind of grief, to lose a child. I can only begin to imagine the depth of anguish his parents are going through, and how do you explain to a small child that daddy chose not to be here any more for you. Suicide is a selfish act, but more important is one of desperation when a person doesn't see a way out of whatever turmoil he or she is in.
     This young man, maybe twenty-one or twenty-two was some years back in a  school for kids with behavioral problems. He told someone he knew me and that I was a nice lady, that he remembered me because I was so nice. I didn't know him when he was introduced to me. All I thought about him was, he was a cute kid, trying hard to be a dad and  good boyfriend. Little did I know what he was fighting on the inside.
     As some time went on I learned of one of his demons and that alone was enough to let me know he shouldn't have children around until he was well, if he would become well. That school I mentioned,most kids do great there, but only because the ratio of men verses kids far outweigh a traditional school. With that, his issues were probably never deeply addressed and yet, I honestly don't know. I only know my experiences with kids in those schools and while they serve a purpose, it's temporary.
    This young man had so many years ahead of him. What a personality he had. From time to time I saw him but never went out to dinner, or had any sit-down talks. There never seemed to be a reason why. With him and his ex-girlfriend things appeared fine...until they moved in together. Then more of who he was really like came out and his issues. I won't knock him. I only wish I knew how we could prevent suicide more often than we do.
    Recently I saw someone had a bike day to raise funds to prevent suicide. If funds are to be raised, it should be to add more back into the Mental Health system. Too much has been cut. This is such a sad day. He was just a kid. Why didn't anyone see it coming? A last thought. Words are so important. You never know who you're talking to  even if it's a best friend, a spouse, a child what is really in their minds, so use your words carefully and kindly. Good-bye Kiddo

Eggs, A Teen saves Family! What a kid !

       Now this is what's right about some kids. You know what I mean. We find fault with society concerning all of the rights of kids, parental priorities concerning how to need a certain amount of money because of things, or wanting those things. Yes I know too, many times it is necessary for two parents to work, and in this family it wasn't any different.

    The father worked for a utility company and the mother worked as a pharmacist while the teen aged daughter went to school. This story was on the Sunday Morning show.

    One day mom found herself sick, struggling to walk, not able to feed herself, dress herself and more. She had Multiple Sclerosis and spent all of her time laying down on the sofa and ended up in a nursing home. The parents decided not to tell their young teen what was wrong, yet she knew and she also knew things were getting tough. This kid decided to do something about it. What a kid!

    She went to her grandmother who gave her a loan. This young girl worked out all of the numbers, costs to do what she wanted to do, and so she bought chickens. Yes, she started an EGG BUSINESS ! Last year she made 15,000. which saved the home and family. Mom is back home and much better. Dad gives his daughter all the credit for, as he stated, "keeping the wolves away from the door."
   This teen is now saving for college as the help isn't any longer needed. Yet she says, it's there for mom and dad if they do need it. Now this is a kid with values. What would your child do in the same situation?

Stoverstown Pa. Community Meeting Tonight

        Tonight I attended a home meeting with a young teen and had an opportunity to meet other people, women. There were about seven women and one male teen. I couldn't believe my ears as I met and re-met, as in getting acquainted with these new faces, how accepting they were. I have lived where I live now for almost twenty-seven years and in all this time, I haven't met neighbors who are any where as friendly and accepting, sharing and kind as these people were.
 
         I have to go a step backwards. My neighbors and friends/family( one family ) who live in back of me are truly very special people and they are top of any list I'd have as far as good people. It would take me too long to tell you all about "The People Across the Field."

          When I moved here years ago I was told by a young man that it would take years for people to welcome and accept me as I was an outsider. He also stated that his family who lives on Stoverstown road weren't talked to by most neighbors. I thought, what the heck kind of an area did I move into? That young man was a youth minister. He said he learned to accept, that people here just want to keep to themselves. I didn't accept that, yet little by little I found that to be true, at least as far as I was concerned. The young man, the youth minister? He moved away.

       As I sat and listened to people introduce themselves and talk a little about Stoverstown history and how things changed, it reminded me of where I grew up Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn has changed too. Progress? I don't think so. To me progress is being happy where you are and not moving because someone who looks different than you changes the neighborhood. If we remain, we progress in making our town better and how do we do that?

      This is what this meeting was all about, how we do that. People came up with all kinds of ideas, making a community newsletter or getting involved in the one already put out by the township. Then there could be a Stoverstown book club, or a Stoverstown walking group, and even a Help Thy Neighbor group, which is concerned with as it appears to explain, helping someone who needs you. This can be anyone for anything, like a drive to a grocery store, helping to clean up a garden or start a garden, carry groceries in, clean someones refrigerator or garage and even their car.
       We also thought about having an old fashioned block party, and a sing a long/musical group. Oh , back to gardening. A positive suggestion is to have community gardens. There are people who live in apartments in Spring Grove and York New Salem who might like to help out and share with a neighbor or teens who might wants to help out at home by starting a family garden.

     Anything is possible when people come together for a community purpose. Remember good equals good. Next time you see a neighbor ask them this simple question...Can you tell me if there is------around here? When you say, "around here" usually they know you're new and it's a good way to hopefully start a, Community Connection .
   P.S. If you're interested in it, chances are, someone else is too. Check in, don't check out.

   

My High School Illustrator-You Can Too !

      For  a long time I have been writing and now have quite a few children books finished, but only on paper. So looking up illustrators I find the expense to outweigh trying to publish a book. Since I have worked with kids and kids have worked for me, doing a better job than some adults, it is kids who I have turned to once again.
     Calling the local high school I was directed to the art teacher who in turn contacted me. In order for safety, confidentiality and fairness I agreed to let the teacher give out my e mail. One young lady in particular wrote me asap. Three more followed, yet I felt like I knew already it would be a good match with this first young lady. Yesterday someone else e mailed me, and I'm amazed at how little some know how to address others.
   This last e mail simply tole me to email back, no first name, no, to Whom it may concern, nothing. This was a fifty-fifty business opportunity from an adult to students. One young lady wrote me and I answered her right away, but then didn't hear for a few days. I had the attitude, well if she can't answer...I found out what her schedule was like, so we too will meet. I am meeting with four students as I have many stories, two of which are Christian based, mostly all children's stories, and one is a teen book, and the last is one I have been working on for years, well off and on.
     During the meeting with the first young lady and just some chatting I mentioned how disorganized I became-again. She said, well I can organize too...isn't that kool, and so this just goes to show us adults how willingly teens are to work. Bottom line is call your local high school and ask for the help you need. Kids want to help, want to be paid and work. This serves two purposes and maybe more. If I was able, I would pay her weekly so she could let go of her part time job, stay closer to home, save gas and hours. But I am getting an illustrator and she is getting exposure, as well as possibly learning if this is what she wants as a career or not.
     We are doing this as a fifty-fifty partenrship and I am ever so grateful. This is a young lady with I'm sure many options, but for now, I'm the lucky one whose option she chose.