I don't know why, but on the way home from a church tonight, no, not a service but setting up for a show, I notice the people who are there appear to all treat everyone the same. They were a mixture of old, young, middle aged, sizes, and wealth. Some had little and some had a lot more.
That brought my thoughts to a few churches I've been to, visited, and had membership with. I do sit back and watch, so not much of a participant, and honestly I believe because no one asks. I guess they have their own people, (CLICKY?)so maybe after you've attended about ten years you might be asked to do something. I know, sarcastic for sure, but it's hard to feel otherwise.
People also feel as I do for other reasons. An old friend and I were talking about this a few days ago. He told me as a grown-up in a new church with his family he just doesn't feel welcome. I asked about the service, minister, collections, handshakes and almost everything I know that goes on in churches. He told me the minister is a good guy, delivers fairly decent sermons that he can live with, and the collection plate comes at the same time, and shortly after that the minister tells people to greet your neighbor, shake hands and welcome them. He's even okay with that.
We then talked about the music and length of the service and how family centered the church is. He thinks they're okay too. The ax? He feels left out as does his wife. Recently he was laid -off and asked the church for help with a few utilities. He asked as he said he felt it was his place since he was the head of the family. But prior to this he felt left out . He said, this is just like when I was a kid, and everyone is so clicky. I agreed. My church had that too. The place you least expect it, you see it just as much as anywhere else. That welcome handshake? It's like saying, hello, you don't belong here so why bother?
He and I talked some more about this "feeling". Is it really them or is it us? Of course we agreed, it's them. He let me know about his church's latest announcement for a dinner and sign-up sheet for help. He actually with his wife took initiative and asked how they could help as he signed them up. He said we'd be happy to do trash and clean-up, peel potatoes, whatever is needed, so what job should we sign up for? You won't believe the answer. It was, hey you don't have to sign-up, we have regulars that do that. We all know each other and how we work, so you people just relax. Yup, that sure made them feel welcome and needed. While every one's name goes on that sheet, others see it too and do the"oh look at how they're helping again" and also the"why doesn't anyone else pitch in" comments.
Have you watched after the service too? Look who stands around talking to one another. How many people do you ever get introduced to?
See, you're different, in need, not as important, not from the area, not included, don't give as much, not as pretentious, don't have two incomes, and also you're treated differently depending on what your need is. If you're dying or very sickly..well you know how that goes. But the bottom line is, church is just like school.
Ask your kids who is noticed more in school. They'll tell you its the brains, and the trouble makers-wow I could have left out everything in the middle-maybe I will-I might go back and erase about five paragraphs because no one wants to know the truth about their church/them selves. Oh my friend recently started his own business, sadly due to his father passing away and leaving him a bundle. His father was well known and the church came together, had a funeral luncheon, and made many pleasantries about not only his father but my friend too. Now that was weird as my friend was fairly new to that church and they never took time to know him, buy yes, of course, his dad died and now the son came into a lot of money. He told me he'd like to start his won church and wants to name it , YOU really are welcome here. Yes, he thought he was being funny, but he never went back to the church again and did repay for the borrowed utility funds.
Now next time introduce your neighbors in church and make that connection, bring them into your circle, stop believing that so called class is how you dress, who you're married to, how much money you have, what you drive, how big your house is, where you buy your clothes, what your kids are doing or not, how fancy your hair and nails are, where you go on vacation, what kind of shoes you wear-all that means is you are fortunate, plain and simple. Sure you worked for it, but that doesn't change how people should be treated.
Class is who you are inside and it shows on the outside. We all walk different paths in life, the path we're meant to walk for a specific reason, so walk that path no matter where it is, how it is and with or without those material things, but walk it with pride and meaning. Make it count!
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