Ultimatum's suck. I act the same as many when you push me against a wall. Today I was given an ultimatum to either say no I won't or yes I will proceed. To be blunt, to proceed can also mean to continue as I am going, but also means when the child is stable to start the paperwork. That sounds so easy, but if you had any idea about this child...what would you do?
Guilt overcomes me as I think what would happen to him knowing the difference between me ad many foster parents and not trying to be cocky about it, I have a conscience. He isn't kept in a room with a TV and video games to keep him out of my hair as have been with many foster parents I knew, yet I can see how that's tempting. Sometimes it isn't a lazy parent but one who is overwhelmed with that child's issues or that the child has to be kept in very close proximity to the home for very good reasons.
I know there are also parents who have loads of love for kids with all kinds of problems, yet, I can't help but think this child's issues aren't just issues, but some that could destroy an other's future. How does any agency try to force someone to not have enough time to decide after only six months of that child living with you. It usually takes about two to three months before a child shows his or hers true colors. Then you have to start to learn who he is, what makes them mad, sad, happy, moody, sneaky, afraid, generous or kind, selfish or hurtful, and hygiene habits, and do they steal, how much can they be trusted, and so many more things to know learn and hopefully love and be able to live with. But SIX MONTHS!
Look up different state children and youth agencies. See how often they succeed at this. Look at how may charges have been filed because of false reports, not checking on kids, asking enough questions, cancellations, and adoptions where kids go back into the system. Sure no one puts that pen in your hand to sign the final paper, but they sure make it hard to decide what's right, and this is the second time I've been put in this position. It didn't end well last time either. Kids who need to be adopted are moved and moved so many times because it behooves the Children and Youth agency to hurry a speedy adoption so they can get a larger stipend/reward form the federal government. Don't think so? Research it.
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