Foster Care, What Many Don't Know, A Gun

              At one point I knew I worked in foster care too long, too long because I couldn't say anything without either getting fired and being made to look like a trouble maker. But it was long before that, I made sure to tell most of the kids who would remember, to get a new social security number, get copies of all your medical records so when you're older, you can challenge discrepancies. I doubt many remembered or cared..
      I let them know they could go to college for free and could also challenge a move if for the right reasons. I had one child challenge and actually call a lawyer to stay with me. A foster child can remain in care until age twenty-two. Here's the catch;they wanted their freedom with no curfews, stay out with friends without any accountability, were encouraged to have saving accounts but in the later years because of age, I would have to be on the account too. At one point I bought savings bonds for a young girl.
       I tried to let them know about vocational college, I did let them know and one boy went to HACC, but he was more interested in getting a laptop for free, even sat in my field one day, the screen cracked from that or laying in the trunk of a friends car and yet he talked the school into giving him another one for free. Many kids learned so young about the rights they had that they thought using them fast and furious helped them, it just upset some people.
       One agency hired so many people and friends of people just to keep people employed. They were all friends and so it wasn't about the kids, it was about keeping money in the pockets of friends. I told one man on the day he was leaving about a woman who spanked her very young foster son, had electricity turned off and other things. His answer was, I didn't hear that.
        There was a boy in my home who brought a gun and now this sounds nuts, but he wasn't a bad kid. He saw his grandfather beat his mom as a little boy and as he grew he wanted to protect women. I worked with his grandfather in Mental health who had schizophrenia.
         The boy had the onset which erupted in my home . Little y little he covered his window, nailed a cross upside down to his wall, ripped up a Bible and as I watched him and asked if he needed anything, want to grab a sandwich, go out it was no, no and no. A few days before we went to see his mom which was where he grabbed the gun and put it in his small backpack. We stopped at a convenience store to get coffee and a soda for him. He saw a man hitting a woman and yelling at her, started to open the car door and I gently grabbed his arm. No don't we can call the police. No police, he just wanted to leave, but the man noticed the boy at 17 getting out of the car. The man then took the woman by the arm and in a muffled voice said something pushing her to the store.
         After we got home he started to go deep inside himself and I called on-call to let them know. I was asked who's his MHP, Mental Health Professional. The response was she's in a meeting with the group. Half hour later I call again. BY the fourth call I get a call back saying, what have you done to alleviate the situation. I explain, monitoring, talking quietly etc etc etc.  IT was four hours later before his MHP arrived. She sat and said where is he. Oh GOD! How many times to I need to repeat this?
In his room, darkened etc. She said, can you go and get him and I'll be in back of you? She did walk in back of me until she heard him say, I'm not talking to her. I asked him, Will you just listen?
He said okay. We went to the kitchen table and he came out a few minutes later.
        He had his mini back pack, put it on the seat, no sound as if he had hardware in it. I spoke a little and so did the MHP. He was telling me how he was feeling and I said I'm sorry you feel like you have to protect yourself that way. THEN he took out the gun and put it down very hard on the table.
       He said in a calm manner, I don't have to protect myself, I have to protect you women with this.
The MHP was now shaking and for five seconds I thought, who will tell my children? Then I said to him, ----Thank you for being so honest and trying to protect us, but you know now I have to take this, reaching across the table for the gun. He didn't move an inch to stop me, but shook his head yes. I went on with, I have a friend who's a cop, is kind, not a bully etc. and I have to call him. Again he shook his head yes. Calling 911, I was asked if he had any other weapons and he jumped up with ease and said, oh yeah, I have your saw blade. It was to a jig saw. I followed him and he gave it to me. The MHP said, do you mind if I go out and smoke? No , go.
      IT wasn't long before two police cars pulled up and came knocking. I walked the boy out and introduced him to my friend. He allowed a search and was very polite. My heart beat more for him because he was truly ill. It's genetic, His mother suffered from sever depression. Many times Mental illnesses go from one gender in the family to another. The MHP stood with tears in her eyes and we chatted a little then she left.
      She went out on disability a few weeks later and the boy went to jail. I went to court as a witness, hugged his mom and shook his hand. No I wasn't angry. He was a very ill kid and his illness was just starting. It's a lifetime of heartache.
    More in a few days

My First and Last Foster Son

       When I lived with this little guy, my first foster son, I quickly learned how society, well, maybe not society but the system cheats many kids like him. His anger was as I was told, starts at zero and goes to a hundred in ten seconds. I never experienced that, ( well yes I did growing up ) Another thing I never experienced was the fact that this eleven year old could only read about second grade. On the way to my house we stopped at a diner and I gave him the menu. He pushed it back telling me he couldn't read it. I thought he was joking, but soon found out he meant it. Maybe I should have taken another look at the residence hall/school where he went to school. Kids sat in a classroom that was barely light. I found out it wasn't about teaching and learning but low lights keep the kids calm and I did see  him laying on his desk.
          -I'll continue this tomorrow-
        Well from the start we appeared to have a nice relationship. It took a while before school would allow him in, to see what was a proper and age related class. As I write this my mind shifts between this child , C and my last child B.  It wasn't long before trouble started in school and the calls came to pick him up.
         The worst call was tell me he ripped a teachers tie off. I walked into the middle school and he was sitting alone in an office crying. I was brought into a room and given the story, which didn't make sense. It was obvious to me the school wanted him gone. The teacher whose tie he ripped off, was muscular, shaved head, and now wearing contacts. Yes, that matters to me because a couple of years back he was this, glasses and balding, so now his ego was really out there even in how he spoke, nothing like a couple of years ago.
           They finally brought the boy in and C gave his story. I believed him. He admitted he was wrong, that he had a comic and didn't put it down right away, but what the teacher left out was that he got made at the boy and ripped it from his hands at which point the boy followed the same pattern, and yes, wrong it was. I was told this man was a special ed teacher. He wasn't two years back. Where was his patience? Following the tie incident I was told the boy picked up a chair to throw at the teacher. The boy said he picked up the chair to sit in the corner. Not sure what was true about that.
More became clear about ripping the teachers tie off. It appeared it became caught in something and the teacher ripped it off. Either way he was suspended for ten days, the legal time for a child in special needs classes.
              HE was moved to a behavioral school. What followed at home was a series of mostly good time, eating out, watching his favorite shows, no cable and he loved the old black and white shows, leave it to Beaver, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, and most from the old days. I took him on a trip to New York. All went great. We stayed a two nights in Long Island and he had a ball and I did too watching him watch people. Early one morning he saw a man fishing on the oceans edge, asked if he could go down and talk to him. Sure, He did and had a great time. We checked out and stopped at a merry go round place where he caught brass rings.
            Then we had lunch on the Island and off to check into a Brooklyn Hotel, one I usually stay at and it was such a nice time. We met with my old friend and her husband and out to super we all went. I decided to cut the trip a day short because we were getting such bad weather and honestly I thought I'd save a lot on the hotel. I now know better. We should have stayed and just enjoyed the hotel, movies and ordering in.
         Once I told C that we were going home early he asked why and because very quiet. He asked off and on why we couldn't stay and I kept explaining. Packed up, we took off, passing through the Verrazano Bridge, then Jersey and then it started.... Suddenly he lashed out swearing at me, f this and that and F you and I bet you never knew I could cuss, did you ever heard these words before? NO more sweet innocent little boy, now acting like an older teen out f control. More to come from the back seat; He threw pennies at the dashboard, a book at the dash, small things until nothing was left. With each toss I told him, it's not too late, we can fix this and make it better, His response, I didn't want to F'n leave.
          I knew I had to bide my time until I found a safe place to get off. Looking ahead I see a truck plaza and tell C I have to get gas, use the restroom and grab a sandwich. He does get out and I quickly lock all the doors but there's one thing left in the car, an umbrella ! I knew I had to get my hands on that before he got back in the car.  Inside I did use the restroom, got on line for coffee and a sandwich, but C did not want to eat. I sat in the booth with him making small talk and making sure he knew we only had a short time left to eat if he wanted to get a sandwich or anything else. He said no.
         I started chatting with a guy standing on line about all of the food varieties. Then I told C, you have three minutes left to eat and I put a ten dollar on the table in front of him. He grabbed it, got on line and I grabbed the umbrella. After he ate, and we stood to leave, he went for the umbrella and saw I had it. We walked to the car and I threw the umbrella in the trunk. Before taking off we talked, he fell asleep and we made it home.
    More of C continued tomorrow

All This Foster Child Wanted

       He came from another foster home as many do. Many foster children move around. I've seen ads on TV where kids are paid to say, and yet I know it's true, "all I remember is moving around and having things taken away from me".
         Here's what I know about these two things. Don't we take away things from our own children as a consequence? Now moving around is another story. Many, many kids dislike the rules so much they continue to make living in a home so stressful and I'm sure reading this you may think, well you don't make your own kids move. Correct. Yet in foster care sometimes the goal of a child, or teen is to keep trying new homes until he or she gets what they want and there are many homes that give kids, their own TV, a game system overload on snacks, anything so the foster parents don't have to bother especially if they're being paid well. Yes, many are paid very well, but never enough to put up with the following:

• Getting called to school daily
• being told to go F yourself
• punching holes in the walls
• firesetters
• sexual issues
• masturbating on the toilet seat
• destroying rooms
• breaking a parents personal items
• Cursing in a conversation as if its an everyday and okay thing to do
• listening to a parent use the bathroom
• Having the police at your door about every second day
• refusing to get on or out of a van
• threatening to blow up a school, jump off a building and so much more

These are really a few reasons why parents give their notice among having to stay all night or ten until a hospital finds another hospital that will accept the child with so many issues, that many residential hospitals won't accept a child. My last child was moved to another state for just that reason.

          Now the little guy I'm talking about J, only wanted to be adopted, that's all. He loved the family he was with and they loved him. But one day he overstepped his boundaries looking for attention and tried to seriously hurt himself, but it was all fake. That was enough for the mother to call and give her notice. She was afraid but realized a few minutes later she jumped the gun, called back and said it was a mistake. The agency said too late . They called me right away and I took him. He stayed about two to three months. He had a medical issue which wasn't a problem, but he also wouldn't listen to a curfew, He was I believe, thirteen and so cute. HE loved dogs, wanted me to get him one.

       No, I tried that before and wouldn't work for me. I loved taking the kids on trips, buying nice clothes, out to eat at better restaurants so they learn social skills . HE kept asking me about adoption and I was honest, I wasn't young enough, He kept taking off, running out in bare feet, hurting himself. Finally I was told to take him to the ER to take care of a problem, then get him to a residential about an hour away. Getting him home and trying to get meds into him., I promised McDonalds which he loved and we rarely went to. HE fell asleep in the car, but I went through Mc D's anyway, got him to this horrible place where I drove through two huge steel doors, like a dam!

     Once awake and inside it still took him a few minutes to realize where he was. He was repeatedly told this would happen by the agency. The agency rep who should have taken him would have been very impersonal, but I knew after this one time at this place, I'd never, ever do it again.

       I remember even now, his tone of voice, his pleading, Nancy, don't leave me, please don't leave me here, about eight times until they told me to go. The drive home at ten o'clock was memorable with memories of us having silly giggling times and long talks about everything imaginable.

     It took him a few months to adjust and behave, finally accepting if he was to ever get out of that place he needed to simply bee good, not so simple. Yet he made it. It wasn't long before that a family was found and this time, finally he found his new and forever dad and mom. HE wanted a dad so much and he also got his dog. His dream came true. 

       One Christmas at an airport I received a call from a man asking if I was who I was. Yes, this is me. He asked if I remembered J and I said Hell yes ! He explained the events that led to adoption and they were on their way to Montana, I think, for the holidays and that J now also has a dog. HE said J talks about me often. kool, made me happy. Then he asked, would you like to take to him? He really is anxious to take to you. IT felt wonderful to know this wonderful boy was happy, adopted and that his dream came true. We talked a few more times that year, then I let go. He's happy and he has my number if he wants to call, but I think that need is gone. Stay Happy J   !

Foster Kids , Dreams, Army & Families continued

        As a single person who worked in mental health I was anxious to work, help and try to instill values with foster children, some almost adults in the legal sense and very hard to persuade change in. But they were all worth it, each and every one.
         I preferred boys because I had a lot of brothers and I'm kind of a tom boy myself so I thought I had it all figured out. During training we were told just because you're parents, that means nothing to these kids. Yes, I found out that was true with one exception. Every boy who walked through my homes wanted to know about my children and what we did,what happened if they got into trouble, how did I punish them, did they have a curfew, and a lot about vacations.
          That made sense as they were told and foster parents are told to treat foster children as your own. So one young boy about thirteen, very stubborn, African American had a dream to join the ARMY along with a younger brother also in foster care. I got to meet him too and take him out a couple of times. My guy at thirteen was ready to stand up for what he believed in, no matter how right or wrong he was. He wanted what was his no matter again, how right or wrong he was using things. But he had goals, and one was to be as independent as possible and no one would tell him what to do or be.
            He lived with me twice which was kool. We both learned, but my neighborhood didn't. I lived in at that time an almost all white area and the neighbor across the street treated this kid as if he had a disease being black. It was mainly the man across the street and then a man a few doors up from me.
            One night my guy and a neighbor boy who lived down the street came to my house and it was dark, about nine o'clock and they stood at the top of the hill throwing rocks. Their aim was off, or maybe not. I was told they were trying to throw over that guys house. IT didn't take long as I later learned that neighbor was sitting outside a long time, which meant he could have come to me right away. Instead he waited until a rock hit his truck, then came to me yelling about cost and me not watching my foster son.
               What many don't know is kids who are in foster care earn the right according to age, just like any child, to be out a little later as they age and hopefully mature. That man across the street didn't care, wouldn't listen, just wanted to bully me and get money out of a rock hitting his truck. HE wasn't about to go up the street to the white boys house and tell his parents off until I said, what about him and I hated pointing to the other boy. After saying that a few times the man said okay, okay I'm going. Yeah, he went, acted like a gentle man, spoke softly and reached his hand out to talk to the other boys' father. The father caved in and let the man use his auto insurance. I wouldn't.
                I wanted the boy to learned lesson by giving up his weekly allowance and walk across the street and pay until done. The man refused, said he wanted HIS money now. He made many threats about the agency, called the police, rightly so, said he'd call a senator, and on he went. He did call my agency who paid him, but was nasty to the manager who was a female About a month later he called my agency again, said he found a ding in his garage door, wanted more money, wanted to talk to a man.  Not this time. I let them know he never mentioned it  before and could call the police then they'd know what kind of a "man" he was.
        That man just really didn't want a kid who was black living across the street. He suggested he had to watch his daughter, that he had a dog, installed a fake camera, but as horrible as all of that was, it became worse. He started watching this kid often. The boy started back. The man called the police for staring! Finally one day the man called the police again saying the boy was walking on or near his property, watching the man. WHAT a LIAR!  I happened to come from my kitchen, looked out the window and saw the man drive up on his property. He saw my kiddo walking down the block in the street, and followed him along his property line until the boy went to his friends house. The man came back in and called the police.
     Soon the police arrived and my foster son was sitting at the table talked to me about stuff. Allowing the cop in, hearing the same old story, I took a deep breath and told the cop, Okay I'm finished with this, the lies, his following D all the time etc, Please let him know if he calls teh police one more time

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Foster Kids Do Dream ...

          About a week ago I came across a man singing on America's Got Talent who, he and his wife adopted foster children. That was wonderful. However his statement, about Foster kids don't dream, they survive. Listening as a former foster parent, my first thought was bull, but from his perspective and the children he and his wife had that may have been true, but not from my perspective and experiences.
              I've had kids dream about being adopted and  and so much more depending their ages and what their plans were for the future, if their parents were more present or not and at times social services twisted the thoughts of the very young children.
       Here's an example. I took care of two little brothers who were removed from another foster home. I loved taking them out, having huge birthday parties, taking them to small family owned shoe stores, out to eat, buy nice clothes and whatever I could do to offer happiness. Children and youth wanted me to adopt them. I was too old to adopt such young kids from my perspective. I was to take them to a place for therapy, art therapy. After one session the boys came downstairs with the therapist who told me by the colors they used they were very angry. She felt because they were worried they would be displaced again. She brought me into her office instead of hall chatting and asked me about adoption. I explained my age etc. She told me that doesn't matter. Of course not, not to them, as she was a good friend of the other young lady from children and youth.
       Once we got in the car I asked the kids, how did you pick the crayons. One boy said, huh? I rephrased it and asked, did you pick colors out of a box or a drawer? They both said miss---- gave them to us. Great therapy! I guess it works for her. She told me the boys went right to the bookcase and picked out black, orange and brown. LIE !
    As Christmas became closer, I was told the CASA also a friend of children and youth and the therapist, along with the case worker were coming to visit. My thoughts were they had gifts. My back bedroom was loaded with gifts. After we all chatted about the excitement coming in one day, I was asked to go to my room, I did.  The caseworker and CASA took the boys as far to the end of the house to talk, WHISPER and keep a secret. Yes I Was curious, very curious, but didn't ask anyone.
      Later I told the boys I felt lazy and how about we do a SHEETZ supper. Giggling they yelled yeah!  On the drive back to the house I told the boys I had a surprise for next week, That I was picking up my daughter and we were all going to NY ! The youngest started yelling and I'm looking in the mirror and see the older boy whispering to his brother. I asked if everything was okay and didn't he, the older boy, only eight, wanted to go. He answered quietly, We can't go but I can't tell you why. I just said okay, and right away the little one almost six, said I know why, I know. I told him as much as once again I wanted to know, It's okay. You don;t have to say, and then the older brother just popped up and said, We won't be living with you anymore.
      I had to check myself, ask quietly why. He said Miss--- said not to tell you, its our secret, because you won't give us our gifts. As I write this I'm almost feeling a relief to sill a lot out, plus a bit angered that the people kids count on, caseworkers, therapists, CASA's do this type of thing, and I know not all, but many do it. I have so many stories about this crap.!
       Well I let him know it's okay he told me, that to try to remember adults and kids shouldn't have secrets unless we plan a party at our house or a friends house or restaurant, and only with the family you live with or your parents. It's harder than this sounds in writing.
           I went on to explain that I won't mention to the Caseworker that he told, and again. its okay, you're not in trouble. About an hour after we were home I received a call from the supervisor from my agency who in a sad voice said I have bad news for you, and I let her know what I knew. She was feeling miserable as was I about it, but I know how their game works. I was told after the kids got their gifts in the morning, make sure they get to bed on time and start packing. They were to leave the day after Christmas. Talk about Dream Stealers!
       I think they moved once then some guy adopted them. One of the boys the older one didn't want to be adopted as far as I know. I can be wrong, but I do know he went back to his mother and graduated high school in that area. He also started his own truck business at just eighteen years old. His little brother is happy with his family. Yes we've all been in touch, their mom, the two boys and me.
       Tomorrow, I'll tell you about another boys' dream.

Bon Ton York Pa. Gyp SALE-Before & after PRICES

            Two days ago I stopped in at the York Pa. location, living only about fifteen minutes away. My thoughts were maybe the sofa I bought there in October is on sale and I'll get another one, or the chair and ottoman set that was with it. Oh Lordy What a joke!!!
          I went right to the sofa and immediately my daughter said, it doesn't look as nice as yours . I think its the horrible lighting the Bon Ton has. The salesman, a very nice guy told me the lighting really affects how it looks when you get it home. So the sofa, a grey thick cushioned firm and long sofa had a price of 1800. plus with a matching chair which they didn't have when I bought my sofa. I paid less than half that for the sofa alone. The had a beautiful striped chair and ottoman for 750. and it was so comfortable. But Tom the salesman talked me out of it saying, but 750. for one chair? Because I just looked at two recliners for 299. each and thought about changing my mind. I should have.
                 Although Lane recliners, they suck ! I would have had to pay a 90. pick up fee and a 50. restocking fee after someone had to come and tighten bolts. The chair still slides side to side. IT SUCKS! I sold one.
        The Bon Ton rarely had MSRP , Manufacturers Suggester Retail Price on items because then nothing would sell ! Sales were always going on, anything from 25 % off to 49% off so what you actually see now is the same so called sale but MORE than usual. Wait until they're almost closed if you really need something. By the way, someone there will be able to tell you when they close, just ask, how long before you're out of a job? Sad I know
       BUT for better quality, nicer delivery service go to Boscovs! The delivery service I received was not very good. I'll leave it at that.

Growing up in Brooklyn

          Yes, I grew up in Brooklyn and loved it so much if I could afford to retire there, I might. If I could afford to retire there I'd live in Bensonhurst because Bensonhurst appears to not have been infected with an influx of crime and entitlement.
       I'd still love to go bike riding on shore road at my old retirement age. Yup, I'm old, but stuck in my teen years mentally. Aches and pains, yes I do but rarely does it stop me from being silly, crazy and having dreams.
        Definitely I'm in need of a newer car, yet how that's going to happen, I have no idea. My car has 233,000 miles on it and I'd need a vehicle that sits upright like a chair. So back to Brooklyn I go in my NY state of mind.
      P.S. 140 was the school on 59th st. and 4th ave-some say it was P.S. 118. My principal Mr/ Vitalo said it was 140 annex so that's what I'll go with. My dreams are to go roller skating once again, pizza in Brooklyn, a knish, a pastrami on Rye, an egg cream, sit on shore road with my friend, my grandchildren, family and or alone.
        Cobblestones streets and brownstones, ice cream cones, stick ball, apartment buildings, stoops and whispers late at night. Hot sweaty guys sitting out, sleeves rolled up or in those undershirts with bra like straps. Rock and roll music coming from transistor radios and kids getting dressed up for Friday night dances at the local churches, mostly OLPH.
          That was all wonderful and just as good was my mother making a huge pot of pea soup with sliced hot dogs . My father made hot rice, like rice pudding, but in those huge pots, so big it barely fit on one burner. There were eight kids so we used giant pots.
       Early Saturday Mornings someone, usually myself or my brother Roger would go to the bakery and deli. We bought enough rolls so we all had two, then at the deli baloney, cheese, ham and genoa salami. My father would clear our old formica table and cut every roll, spread them with mayo and mustard and line up the deli meats. Then he'd make two jugs of ice tea. We' take paper plates and paper cups and a trash bag. Off to Gerritsen beach where we'd drive right up onto the beach and the food would stay out of the sun. After swimming and running all over we were ready to eat around one o'clock, not before. I think about six or seven of us would pile into that old car, no seat belts. The only thing we took was excitement !
           IT seemed by five we were hungry again and then there was John ! John was the best food truck to come on the beach. He was so very dark black and for quite a while people wouldn't buy from him. They bought from a guy named Nick. Nick was short, dirty, dirty fingers, and creepy laugh and filthy truck. Little by little and we were one of the first, people started buying from John. John who stopped at our house on 56th st between 4th and 5th ave, to ask if Roger could work on his truck with pay and all he wanted to eat. John picked him up and dropped him off every day one summer.
         Roger was happy for more than one reason, he was out of the house. This was his summer of Happiness! I was happy for him and John had the best hot dogs ever. He was so clean, honest and just a good guy. Thank you John-well this was just a small piece about Growing up in Brooklyn. I loved it!

Everything is 40% off

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College ? Think Again, It's Your Money !

       By now most know unless you're heading to college to become a lawyer, teacher, doctor etc. You may just end up paying for loans for time. spent. Administrators may tell you, you get a year before you need to start paying off college loans, but they don't really sit down with kids and show them in black and white what a money scam loans are if you get in a situation where you don't get that high paying job or career you thought you'd get by going to college.
        A Ten thousand dollar loan, can quickly add up to twenty thousand in two years if you can't pay.  So maybe at the tender age of eighteen you need time and space to fill up your bank account and your maturity account.
          Give yourself the most important gift you can, TIME! Do you think if you don't rush off to college you'll never go because mom and dad are telling you that? Not gonna happen. If you deeply want to go, You will go when You are ready! Parents push kids into college and some never return because theirs an element of college indifference when it comes to planning, finances, parties and become one of the kids who have the need to join, or FIT IN!
   Time and maturity is the best gift you can give to you. Time allows you to explore ideas and maturity allows you to know whats wrong or right. In the meantime, volunteer at hospitals, nurseries, and intern at places you think you'd want to work at some day. Give, Give ,and give some more. But take it all in. Think you want to be a pastor? How much will that pay or does it matter?
             Volunteer at a church day camp or the Y if you want to be a child psychologist.  Thinking about becoming an architect? Volunteer or get a paying job at a construction site from the bottom up.
Also think about careers and jobs that are being outsourced and will those jobs still be available or taken over by computers.
       In closing, maybe you want to own your own business so you do need accounting. Trust yourself! It's your money that you will either owe or earn!

Too Soon ? Christmas, About Those Kids

         It's almost never too soon, unless you;re talking about marriage, But we aren't far from Christmas and I'm suggesting people start now to ask families and friends that they usually buy for, what can I get you that you will really use, as far as adults go. Now about those kids who are stuffed with electronics, please it's never too soon to change ideas on gift giving.
        Some suggestions for little ones are a gift certificate to an in house playground where they can jump and climb. Actually that can also be a family gift as the parents enjoy time with the little ones as they burn up enough energy for a full nights sleep. Find out about preteens and teenagers now as far as gift giving and write it down for a time unexpected. Maybe they'd love a day out with just mom or dad or a friend or grandma or yes, grandpa.
       What about piano lessons? Guitar? Overnight at a safe friends home with a phone to call if needed as in, MOM come and get me! Back to the little ones.  If you're giving gifts to someone elses baby, think about this: would I want my child to have it? So many people love to give noisy gifts thinking it's funny-it isn't! Along with that, little ones play with things for minutes at a time then toss it.
       Remember old fort sets? Choose things that kids will use their tiny creative brains for. Think about what adults love then minimize it . This is a challenge to get kids to become creative in a good way. Buy a large roll of brown paper and tape it to the floor or table. Buy paint boards and sit with them and paint, giving them a choice of four colors. Draw a huge hopscotch game on cardboard, or color a bank on cardboard or paper. Make boxes and write in ideas to bank,, adding money as well, but nickels etc. Keep it small or you'll end up broke. One banking idea is, Park time within two weeks. Don't make the time piece too far away as it becomes a disappointment. Get creative! Go to someone who builds and buy odd pieces of wood, sand them down and make your own blocks.
         Theses ideas fit all kids and adults too. If you're strapped for cash, ask for help. Don't let the holidays take away the spirit of giving and receiving . You can always exchange help. Keep it simple and you'll enjoy it too.

He Doesn't Weigh an Inch

       Have you ever heard that expression? I haven't. As a neighbor of my daughters' came over to see us the other day, she sat and drank coffee and listened and watched my grandson play. We chatted about all kinds of things. This lady and her husband have become another set of grandparents and love this little guy to pieces.
        His love is returned as he often tells them he loves them, gives hugs and waves. He also loves to watch the house they live in as the garage door opens and closes. He's like a monitor, or the neighborhood watch, all in one little package. If the man gets in his car to run an errand, baby boy comes dashing back to the table or living room, yelling, car! car! When the man returns home and opens the garage door he yells door! door!
         Well as his new grandma finished her coffee watching this little bundle of happiness lift something, she just grinned and said, he doesn't even weigh an inch does he? That was the first time I ever heard that expression, maybe the last unless Grandma says it again. I love it and her relation to this baby of, unexpected expectations.

P.E.T.A. Where have you been ?

       We all know, or most of us know about PETA. They marched for Fur coats to protect animal skins from being worn on the wealthy. That was the first I ever heard abut PETA. Over the years PETA has protested against animal abuse. BUT I haven't heard of them investigating Puppy Mills.
 Why? Are they leaving it up to the SPCA? The SPCA does what they can but the puppy mills don't receive enough in the way of fines .
 
       NOW a big question PETA ! What about horses? Not just any horse, but race horses, Are you PETA only interested in the small catch so you APPEAR to help? Why are you not after the wealthy, rich, spoiled who race horses?  IS it okay to  whip race horses, run them until they sweat, run them until their ankles break, fracture?
        I don't have anything against people who are wealthy, but against PETA who do nothing to help the helpless horses. Sure I've heard how those race horses receive good, quality health care, great food, fine stables. But of course they should, they earned it by way of running their heart beating hoofs out! Jockeys whip them into wining-or not!
         PETA, Where are you? Afraid of the unseen, unknown rich? Unlike celebrities who wear mink in public where PETA will be praised for that public shame and stopping the mink shoulder wraps etc. yet for too many years, Horses are waiting for you. and I'm sure they'll keep waiting!

A Good Nights Sleep, Average People

       Okay, getting personal here. Again why does it cost an arm and a leg to get a good mattress that won't sag after the short warranty is up. BY short I mean three to four months without having to pay for them to pick it and and deliver another one plus some crazy fee for the mattress, Maybe the mattress companies simply enjoy making people miserable.
        Once I state the following I know people will think: that's cheap, she's lucky and what else does she expect. Well I can't put in print what I think of those comments, so stay away, step off, get off my jock! Okay I didn't think that last one up, heard Bethany Frankel say in on NY Housewives. Besides I don't wear a jock .
          The mattress I bought a year ago in Texas was 600. Its the bottom o the line but They only had a twin for me to try and twins feel more firm, so I bought it. It's a Beautyrest, Greenwood. I should have known as soon as it arrived. The only Green wood I knew of was a cemetery in Brooklyn! IT started sagging in the middle two months later. I did nothing because I thought it was good enough for visiting which I was doing.
             Here we are in 2017, and I needed a new bed,( not in Texas) knew I wanted a Beautyrest, but at what price this time? My Spine! I called the company, spoke to a guy who wanted to sell from Long Island, who told me the name of the mattress, so I could avoid it.  Hah! too good to be true. I was on a budget, didn't want to charge and fell into the same trap, or should I say, quicksand! Because that's what its like getting out of this bed.
        I'm now resigned to wait until I can afford a casket to get a good nights sleep!

Ladies Shoes, Give us a Break !

       Ladies shoes have become a pain in my arches !  Why is it unless a lady pays an arm and  a leg for a decent pair of shoes or sneakers, she just doesn't get a pair of well fit shoes?  To be honest I don't have an arch problem but I do have a back problem, and many times I just give up looking for good, comfortable, well fitting and nice looking ladies sneakers. Shoes on the other hand is a different story. If I know I'll be wearing them for an hour or so, I just don't try so hard. I detest shopping as it is.
        Now many ladies might say they don't have a problem shoe-shopping at all. I'm tearing up with happiness for ya! But if you have feet that need to be fitted at the Navy yard, well excuse me! People change over the years gain weight, lose weight and feet sizes do change. Of course I can wear men's shoes or sneakers if I want to look really mannish, and I have actually found a pair or two over the years that aren't so bad, but come on  have a heart- and SOLE! 
        I do not want sneakers that have a sole two inches high!  All I ask is for a nice looking pair of well fitted ladies sneakers where manufactures use a ladies foot pattern, not a male foot pattern. Oh yes, I have heard that is becoming the case, manufacturers are using ladies foot models/patterns, but what size? SIX! 
           Oh I forgot, the price is important too, Please, not 299. I'm not a basket ball player.

Two Year- Old's Becoming Friends

        This morning as I took a very short walk with my two year-old grandson, then turned around to walk back, he kept looking back. I glanced up and saw a lady with a stroller walking toward us. I told my little guy, come on sweetie lets go. He did but he continued to look back. I was walking slow anyway and so the young lady caught up with her son in the stroller.
           We both stopped and greeted each other. I asked my little one to shake hands and he very slowly reached out to the other little boy, who was also two. The other child kept his hand closed, but only momentarily, Then they both clasped hands. Introductions were made all around and then I asked if the little boy could walk with my grandson. He sure could and did. That stroller table opened and he jumped right out. In seconds the two, two-year old's were walking and holding hands!
           The other little child talked so fast he sounded like my daughter and he was so cute. Finally my little guy broke loose. This was his first "friend" type experience that I had the happiness of seeing. By end of our short walk and before good-bye were said, I was invited to go along with them to the playground, exchange phone numbers and addresses and because of these two-year old's also made a friend.
           Before I end this, I wanted to also let people know, This young lady told me she was from India and we talked about education, and people who are homeless, all once again because two, two years old's were curious about each other. That's all it took to become friends. I wish I took a picture of them holding hands, but I have it in my heart.

Doozybags/St. Judes Donations

       I am working on selling out most of my items with 40% off. Please take a few moments and check out doozybags.etsy.com   Out of any profits I am donating 205 to St. Jude my favorite charity.
Every day we as human beings see children who are sick, dying and families have little or no insurance. At St. Judes no one ever pays, not even for tolls, gas, travel, hotels etc. They give all of what they can to offer families as much peace of mind as possible. Parents have enough to worry about, think about and hope for. I'm hopeful there is something you will find useful. Thank you

Time Has no Mind?

      Well an old friend introduced me to this older saying, if I have it right. Either way I know it's close . Its been a while since we had a good old chat so I guess time lost its mind. We get busy with life, over busy, involved in electronics or hobbies and sometimes just want to be left alone. Next thing ya know, time has gone so quickly that you have to wonder where it went.
           Like old clocks with those huge fingers, then wrist watches that make you squint, now time is on  our phones. Or is it? Time in my opinion is what we decide to do with it.
          Remember being ten or fifteen or even twenty-five? How fast have those years passed ? Like a snap of your fingers time passes so make it all count with your children, family and friends. Remember this too, and I'm sure you've heard it before when asked of a parent or a child; More than anything what can I give you and the answer is usually, spend a day with me or an hour, sit and talk or walk, and turn your phone off. Those lousy phones that have the time as always present, always in our faces, put them away. You'll never get a refund on time! Remember the best gift you can give is time, because with that come memories. No one can steal that!
            

Don't Wait ! Do it now!

       I have a friend who works at a local convenient store and we all know people who work at those local stores, don't earn a lot of money. For this article it doesn't matter weather if she single or not, has children or not. What matters is how she lives.
       This lady has chosen not to invest in buying a new or newer home and I won't mention if she rents or owns because again, that doesn't matter. What matters is this lady is an example of  living her life the way she wants. The old saying less is more fits her perfectly. She's satisfied, content. I'm sure there are moments she may wish to live with more riches, yet they are fleeting moments.
        With very little, a bit of cash and her camera, she'll take a country drive and snap away, then share for those looking at a different perspective to think of how lucky she is, what shes sees through her view. She has an eye for peaceful things and looking into the past. When I see some of her photos, I take my time and wonder. Who lived there before and what was their life like? Were they happy? Then like many she takes photos of train tracks. That brings me to my time as a kid, always taking a train to the city every day, and yet quickly I wonder about the old tracks in her photos, so old. Where were people going in those days in these small towns? How did they dress? Thoughts run like a maze when I see her photos.
        There are other days when she'll visit an old broken down piece of history, like a prison, or an old graveyard . These are a few ways of how she spends her days, not expensive, but a sense of freedom, and that's whats important, freedom.

TRUMP ! NY Unclaimed Property

       If I didn't see it I wouldn't believe it, but I saw this years ago and sent a letter to Trump Towers in New York that the Trump Organization/s, and now the President himself has unclaimed property at the NY unclaimed property site.
   In addition to Mr. Trump himself and his hotels and other organizations, his daughter Ivanka, his brother (late brother) Fred, listed as Fred and Fred C has money at the NY unclaimed property office. Here are a few ways Trumps organizations are listed:

• Trump So ho NY
• Trump Organization Water Front Assests
• Trump Village
• Trump Assests
• Trump Communications
• Trump Corporation/Palace Condominium 
• Trump Casino International

     There were quite a few more, but I finished with the Trump family and went on to search, something I enjoy. For those of you who think this is something, not for you, well I also found   money for me, under a 100. This money for you, me and anyone else gets lost in the POSTAL SYSTEM, or is mail not forwarded because a forwarding address wasn't left upon moving. So it lays in limbo somewhere and years later is reported, but you have to search. These state sites hold, security deposits, old bank accounts, old paychecks, investments, inheritances that you may not think were left behind. Search your state and any state you lived in, states your relatives lived in or live in now, and search for old friends. This money is free to get, is yours not the state.
     Go and get it! IT's free, if not free, your on the wrong site. Good Luck1