When I lived with this little guy, my first foster son, I quickly learned how society, well, maybe not society but the system cheats many kids like him. His anger was as I was told, starts at zero and goes to a hundred in ten seconds. I never experienced that, ( well yes I did growing up ) Another thing I never experienced was the fact that this eleven year old could only read about second grade. On the way to my house we stopped at a diner and I gave him the menu. He pushed it back telling me he couldn't read it. I thought he was joking, but soon found out he meant it. Maybe I should have taken another look at the residence hall/school where he went to school. Kids sat in a classroom that was barely light. I found out it wasn't about teaching and learning but low lights keep the kids calm and I did see him laying on his desk.
-I'll continue this tomorrow-
Well from the start we appeared to have a nice relationship. It took a while before school would allow him in, to see what was a proper and age related class. As I write this my mind shifts between this child , C and my last child B. It wasn't long before trouble started in school and the calls came to pick him up.
The worst call was tell me he ripped a teachers tie off. I walked into the middle school and he was sitting alone in an office crying. I was brought into a room and given the story, which didn't make sense. It was obvious to me the school wanted him gone. The teacher whose tie he ripped off, was muscular, shaved head, and now wearing contacts. Yes, that matters to me because a couple of years back he was this, glasses and balding, so now his ego was really out there even in how he spoke, nothing like a couple of years ago.
They finally brought the boy in and C gave his story. I believed him. He admitted he was wrong, that he had a comic and didn't put it down right away, but what the teacher left out was that he got made at the boy and ripped it from his hands at which point the boy followed the same pattern, and yes, wrong it was. I was told this man was a special ed teacher. He wasn't two years back. Where was his patience? Following the tie incident I was told the boy picked up a chair to throw at the teacher. The boy said he picked up the chair to sit in the corner. Not sure what was true about that.
More became clear about ripping the teachers tie off. It appeared it became caught in something and the teacher ripped it off. Either way he was suspended for ten days, the legal time for a child in special needs classes.
HE was moved to a behavioral school. What followed at home was a series of mostly good time, eating out, watching his favorite shows, no cable and he loved the old black and white shows, leave it to Beaver, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, and most from the old days. I took him on a trip to New York. All went great. We stayed a two nights in Long Island and he had a ball and I did too watching him watch people. Early one morning he saw a man fishing on the oceans edge, asked if he could go down and talk to him. Sure, He did and had a great time. We checked out and stopped at a merry go round place where he caught brass rings.
Then we had lunch on the Island and off to check into a Brooklyn Hotel, one I usually stay at and it was such a nice time. We met with my old friend and her husband and out to super we all went. I decided to cut the trip a day short because we were getting such bad weather and honestly I thought I'd save a lot on the hotel. I now know better. We should have stayed and just enjoyed the hotel, movies and ordering in.
Once I told C that we were going home early he asked why and because very quiet. He asked off and on why we couldn't stay and I kept explaining. Packed up, we took off, passing through the Verrazano Bridge, then Jersey and then it started.... Suddenly he lashed out swearing at me, f this and that and F you and I bet you never knew I could cuss, did you ever heard these words before? NO more sweet innocent little boy, now acting like an older teen out f control. More to come from the back seat; He threw pennies at the dashboard, a book at the dash, small things until nothing was left. With each toss I told him, it's not too late, we can fix this and make it better, His response, I didn't want to F'n leave.
I knew I had to bide my time until I found a safe place to get off. Looking ahead I see a truck plaza and tell C I have to get gas, use the restroom and grab a sandwich. He does get out and I quickly lock all the doors but there's one thing left in the car, an umbrella ! I knew I had to get my hands on that before he got back in the car. Inside I did use the restroom, got on line for coffee and a sandwich, but C did not want to eat. I sat in the booth with him making small talk and making sure he knew we only had a short time left to eat if he wanted to get a sandwich or anything else. He said no.
I started chatting with a guy standing on line about all of the food varieties. Then I told C, you have three minutes left to eat and I put a ten dollar on the table in front of him. He grabbed it, got on line and I grabbed the umbrella. After he ate, and we stood to leave, he went for the umbrella and saw I had it. We walked to the car and I threw the umbrella in the trunk. Before taking off we talked, he fell asleep and we made it home.
More of C continued tomorrow
-I'll continue this tomorrow-
Well from the start we appeared to have a nice relationship. It took a while before school would allow him in, to see what was a proper and age related class. As I write this my mind shifts between this child , C and my last child B. It wasn't long before trouble started in school and the calls came to pick him up.
The worst call was tell me he ripped a teachers tie off. I walked into the middle school and he was sitting alone in an office crying. I was brought into a room and given the story, which didn't make sense. It was obvious to me the school wanted him gone. The teacher whose tie he ripped off, was muscular, shaved head, and now wearing contacts. Yes, that matters to me because a couple of years back he was this, glasses and balding, so now his ego was really out there even in how he spoke, nothing like a couple of years ago.
They finally brought the boy in and C gave his story. I believed him. He admitted he was wrong, that he had a comic and didn't put it down right away, but what the teacher left out was that he got made at the boy and ripped it from his hands at which point the boy followed the same pattern, and yes, wrong it was. I was told this man was a special ed teacher. He wasn't two years back. Where was his patience? Following the tie incident I was told the boy picked up a chair to throw at the teacher. The boy said he picked up the chair to sit in the corner. Not sure what was true about that.
More became clear about ripping the teachers tie off. It appeared it became caught in something and the teacher ripped it off. Either way he was suspended for ten days, the legal time for a child in special needs classes.
HE was moved to a behavioral school. What followed at home was a series of mostly good time, eating out, watching his favorite shows, no cable and he loved the old black and white shows, leave it to Beaver, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, and most from the old days. I took him on a trip to New York. All went great. We stayed a two nights in Long Island and he had a ball and I did too watching him watch people. Early one morning he saw a man fishing on the oceans edge, asked if he could go down and talk to him. Sure, He did and had a great time. We checked out and stopped at a merry go round place where he caught brass rings.
Then we had lunch on the Island and off to check into a Brooklyn Hotel, one I usually stay at and it was such a nice time. We met with my old friend and her husband and out to super we all went. I decided to cut the trip a day short because we were getting such bad weather and honestly I thought I'd save a lot on the hotel. I now know better. We should have stayed and just enjoyed the hotel, movies and ordering in.
Once I told C that we were going home early he asked why and because very quiet. He asked off and on why we couldn't stay and I kept explaining. Packed up, we took off, passing through the Verrazano Bridge, then Jersey and then it started.... Suddenly he lashed out swearing at me, f this and that and F you and I bet you never knew I could cuss, did you ever heard these words before? NO more sweet innocent little boy, now acting like an older teen out f control. More to come from the back seat; He threw pennies at the dashboard, a book at the dash, small things until nothing was left. With each toss I told him, it's not too late, we can fix this and make it better, His response, I didn't want to F'n leave.
I knew I had to bide my time until I found a safe place to get off. Looking ahead I see a truck plaza and tell C I have to get gas, use the restroom and grab a sandwich. He does get out and I quickly lock all the doors but there's one thing left in the car, an umbrella ! I knew I had to get my hands on that before he got back in the car. Inside I did use the restroom, got on line for coffee and a sandwich, but C did not want to eat. I sat in the booth with him making small talk and making sure he knew we only had a short time left to eat if he wanted to get a sandwich or anything else. He said no.
I started chatting with a guy standing on line about all of the food varieties. Then I told C, you have three minutes left to eat and I put a ten dollar on the table in front of him. He grabbed it, got on line and I grabbed the umbrella. After he ate, and we stood to leave, he went for the umbrella and saw I had it. We walked to the car and I threw the umbrella in the trunk. Before taking off we talked, he fell asleep and we made it home.
More of C continued tomorrow
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