Friday, June 29, 2018

Foster Care, What Many Don't Know, A Gun

              At one point I knew I worked in foster care too long, too long because I couldn't say anything without either getting fired and being made to look like a trouble maker. But it was long before that, I made sure to tell most of the kids who would remember, to get a new social security number, get copies of all your medical records so when you're older, you can challenge discrepancies. I doubt many remembered or cared..
      I let them know they could go to college for free and could also challenge a move if for the right reasons. I had one child challenge and actually call a lawyer to stay with me. A foster child can remain in care until age twenty-two. Here's the catch;they wanted their freedom with no curfews, stay out with friends without any accountability, were encouraged to have saving accounts but in the later years because of age, I would have to be on the account too. At one point I bought savings bonds for a young girl.
       I tried to let them know about vocational college, I did let them know and one boy went to HACC, but he was more interested in getting a laptop for free, even sat in my field one day, the screen cracked from that or laying in the trunk of a friends car and yet he talked the school into giving him another one for free. Many kids learned so young about the rights they had that they thought using them fast and furious helped them, it just upset some people.
       One agency hired so many people and friends of people just to keep people employed. They were all friends and so it wasn't about the kids, it was about keeping money in the pockets of friends. I told one man on the day he was leaving about a woman who spanked her very young foster son, had electricity turned off and other things. His answer was, I didn't hear that.
        There was a boy in my home who brought a gun and now this sounds nuts, but he wasn't a bad kid. He saw his grandfather beat his mom as a little boy and as he grew he wanted to protect women. I worked with his grandfather in Mental health who had schizophrenia.
         The boy had the onset which erupted in my home . Little y little he covered his window, nailed a cross upside down to his wall, ripped up a Bible and as I watched him and asked if he needed anything, want to grab a sandwich, go out it was no, no and no. A few days before we went to see his mom which was where he grabbed the gun and put it in his small backpack. We stopped at a convenience store to get coffee and a soda for him. He saw a man hitting a woman and yelling at her, started to open the car door and I gently grabbed his arm. No don't we can call the police. No police, he just wanted to leave, but the man noticed the boy at 17 getting out of the car. The man then took the woman by the arm and in a muffled voice said something pushing her to the store.
         After we got home he started to go deep inside himself and I called on-call to let them know. I was asked who's his MHP, Mental Health Professional. The response was she's in a meeting with the group. Half hour later I call again. BY the fourth call I get a call back saying, what have you done to alleviate the situation. I explain, monitoring, talking quietly etc etc etc.  IT was four hours later before his MHP arrived. She sat and said where is he. Oh GOD! How many times to I need to repeat this?
In his room, darkened etc. She said, can you go and get him and I'll be in back of you? She did walk in back of me until she heard him say, I'm not talking to her. I asked him, Will you just listen?
He said okay. We went to the kitchen table and he came out a few minutes later.
        He had his mini back pack, put it on the seat, no sound as if he had hardware in it. I spoke a little and so did the MHP. He was telling me how he was feeling and I said I'm sorry you feel like you have to protect yourself that way. THEN he took out the gun and put it down very hard on the table.
       He said in a calm manner, I don't have to protect myself, I have to protect you women with this.
The MHP was now shaking and for five seconds I thought, who will tell my children? Then I said to him, ----Thank you for being so honest and trying to protect us, but you know now I have to take this, reaching across the table for the gun. He didn't move an inch to stop me, but shook his head yes. I went on with, I have a friend who's a cop, is kind, not a bully etc. and I have to call him. Again he shook his head yes. Calling 911, I was asked if he had any other weapons and he jumped up with ease and said, oh yeah, I have your saw blade. It was to a jig saw. I followed him and he gave it to me. The MHP said, do you mind if I go out and smoke? No , go.
      IT wasn't long before two police cars pulled up and came knocking. I walked the boy out and introduced him to my friend. He allowed a search and was very polite. My heart beat more for him because he was truly ill. It's genetic, His mother suffered from sever depression. Many times Mental illnesses go from one gender in the family to another. The MHP stood with tears in her eyes and we chatted a little then she left.
      She went out on disability a few weeks later and the boy went to jail. I went to court as a witness, hugged his mom and shook his hand. No I wasn't angry. He was a very ill kid and his illness was just starting. It's a lifetime of heartache.
    More in a few days

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