What is it that makes someone cheat? Ego? Of course. They think they'll never be caught, too smart, and so much better than who they're with. They think they deserve to cheat, that it's someone else's fault. Sure someone else, , no matter who, pushed you into cheating. They will twist and turn everything into, this was your fault; If you didn't yell, if you had my clothes ready, if you fixed yourself up, if you had my supper ready and so many more excuses.
The best excuse is when they may want to get back together which is really for financial reasons and so they can cheat again is : It didn't mean anything ! I believe strongly anyone who has such an ego as to cheat is basically saying, "you're not good enough for me, I had to find someone else". Of course it meant something ! That's just another lie. How many lies will be told and how long will they go on? Lies will go on as long as there is a connection, as long as he or she is grooming you to take them back. That may take months or a year but slowly they will wear a person down trying to prove they've changed. The only thing that changed is, their looking for someone else to cheat with.
These people feel they have a right to cheat and yes will do it again and again. If the couple comes back together the cheater will think, Ha! He or she believed me, I can do it again, because he or she took me back which in their egotistical mind feels, the partner or spouse just isn't too bright and must really need me because they can't get anyone better than me. This is the internal message they send themselves which again gives them permission to cheat.
There are all kinds of reasons or excuses people cheat and as adults, they may have individual reasons to feel it was acceptable, it was expected, and things will be okay again. No, it won't ! Every time that cheating person goes out the door, you will wonder, who is she or he talking to, why is it taking so long, what reason will he or she give when they do come back from "the store"? Oh the line was so long, the cashier messed up, I was stuck in traffic, I didn't have enough money. Excuses to call a new cheating partner ? TRUST ! That word no longer exists with cheaters. They cant be trusted, wake up!
Are children in the picture? What reason or excuse will you give your kids when they find out and they will because there is always someone dying to tell what a rat that cheater was/is! Mainly people tell and talk because there are kids to think about. Some well meaning person will tell because they don't want a best friend to be hurt any longer but to get on with life with a truly all around good person and partner.
Other kids will hear adults talking and pass along what they heard to the children of the cheating adult sounding like this: Did you know your mom or dad had a boyfriend or girlfriend? That's why sometimes they don't live together. Can you just hear that now? Adults talk and so do kids. They copy, mimic what they hear and do, especially when a parent says, go play.
Two adults cheating? Why? Go live apart. Be up front and divorce. Don't stay for financial reasons.. Kids involved ? Cheaters should have the guts to tell the partner or spouse, I have a problem, but the person who doesn't say that doesn't have courage, but does have an ego so big they know almost with certainty they'll talk their way back in and they'll act like a new, better, happier person who has learned a lesson. Watch out! They're lying to themselves and to the partner /spouse, so how much collateral damage are you going to take? How damaged will you allow your children to take and will they, then do the same as they are learning. Be good to yourselves and your children. That's what you all deserve.
