Names are so confusing in these times. Many years ago we identified with a name and able to tell a heritage. Now people of so many races have a same last name as well as cultures. My last name is important to me only because of my children. In that I am thinking of adding a name so I have both last names of my kids, all grown up as they are and probably wouldn't care. But I also identify strongly with my mothers last name as it's so cultural. It's Norwegian. My male parent as you can tell I hesitate to mention parent was Scottish and English. I minimally identify with that side, and mainly I am known to myself as a Viking !
Here is why I write about this. A sad time ago, and not long ago a family member mentioned to my child that she's still a------- and always will be weather she likes it or not. I said nothing but it burned in me. This was at a funeral of a child, not the place nor time to get into crap, and I will never as I know if my child feels it necessary to correct anyone about her name, she will indeed. Both of my children are very strong about their side of history, family, lands and belonging, as am I.
When you have name and you want your kids to be part of that name it should be a name you feel proud of. My childhood last name isn't something I would ever be proud of. Maybe I take it too serious and maybe it isn't the name, but a person or persons and those horrible growing up years.
I'm sure many reading this understand that. Some things no matter how you change, no matter how you grow in spite of that family, just don't wash away.
On another note. What about kids who are adopted ? Don't they have a right to have inserted somewhere in their name a family member they can trace. Aren't they owed some choice ? I know there are sucky parents who lose their kids and many kids don't want to find them but many do. In some sad situations it's a matter of mental health, yet I know people who over time change and receive the proper help, so why shouldn't a kid get a chance to know that parent. Then there are people so mentally unstable, they have a lot of kids who also carry the gene, become mentally unstable yet with today's Mental Health help, they have a better chance at MH improvement. So do they have a right o know who their parents are? Whew and I do take a deep breath as I write this-I don't know. It's all individual.
Time to almost say good-night, sleep well, and make your name who you want to be. :)
Here is why I write about this. A sad time ago, and not long ago a family member mentioned to my child that she's still a------- and always will be weather she likes it or not. I said nothing but it burned in me. This was at a funeral of a child, not the place nor time to get into crap, and I will never as I know if my child feels it necessary to correct anyone about her name, she will indeed. Both of my children are very strong about their side of history, family, lands and belonging, as am I.
When you have name and you want your kids to be part of that name it should be a name you feel proud of. My childhood last name isn't something I would ever be proud of. Maybe I take it too serious and maybe it isn't the name, but a person or persons and those horrible growing up years.
I'm sure many reading this understand that. Some things no matter how you change, no matter how you grow in spite of that family, just don't wash away.
On another note. What about kids who are adopted ? Don't they have a right to have inserted somewhere in their name a family member they can trace. Aren't they owed some choice ? I know there are sucky parents who lose their kids and many kids don't want to find them but many do. In some sad situations it's a matter of mental health, yet I know people who over time change and receive the proper help, so why shouldn't a kid get a chance to know that parent. Then there are people so mentally unstable, they have a lot of kids who also carry the gene, become mentally unstable yet with today's Mental Health help, they have a better chance at MH improvement. So do they have a right o know who their parents are? Whew and I do take a deep breath as I write this-I don't know. It's all individual.
Time to almost say good-night, sleep well, and make your name who you want to be. :)
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