What a Rehearsal

What a Rehearsal!

Unexpectedly a call came

Sadness enveloped him

And he knew it was time once again

To rehearse and hold up his chin,

Hearing in a background

Oh no, I’m sorry, what can I do

Words never enough, never

To just get you through.

Rehearsal like the choir

Rehearsal like a wedding you see

But nothing like a death

Is enough rehearsal, for you or me.

He knows he cannot cry

He cannot shed a tear

He has to be so strong

Rehearsing without fear

He will face those who loved

And all of those who lost

A child, a friend, a special someone

Buried in winters frost

Standing tall and seeming strong

A last good-bye has come along

Grief endless and pain alone-Rehearsal for a life, a life now gone.

 

Children's Values, THINGS or PEOPLE

        If you are about to become  a new parent, please teach your children about the value in people not things. I don't want to preach here, yet I guess I am. When it comes to gifts children get, and clothes they wear, their values are all inside out and upside down.
        It's never too late. It really isn't and may be hard to take away that gaming hand held device you bought "because all the kids have them" which doesn't make sense and you want a child who is a carbon copy or do you? Start now. A day a week, then two then three and finally it's one day a week they get to use them.
       Yes, it's rough if you work or are a single parent who comes home dog-tired and you don't want to do anything with your child as far as entertainment, so here are a few helps:
     Have cards or game night. Start early, make sandwiches for supper, egg salad, tune, or pb&j on that night. You can even invite another neighbor child over and you can rest.
     Have a library night or day, mid-week and Saturday. Saturdays the library usually has something going on, like reading dogs and I know age makes a difference.
    Look into knitting for all ages and if you can't afford it, look into meet-up groups in your neighborhood. Just go to yahoo or google, search  meet-up groups.
    Church: many have mid week bible studies and teen groups that don't seem and aren't bible thumping as many might think.
     Start walking the high school track, or biking on a trail. Biking doesn't have to be expensive. Check out TOMY brands. An ad should be listed and shown. All positive suggestions. Outdoors and exercise go hand in hand with fun and freedom.
    Buy a camera-let him or her learn early on appreciating what's around them and let them enter contests.

    Teach your kids to help neighbors and at recycling places, food banks
become a hospital junior volunteer.
     Get in touch with a close friend and ask for help and suggestions.
Most of all get them a hobby, painting, carpentry, knitting, guitar, writing (which is free) and let them read a good book. Good luck, I know it isn't easy.
     Food, easy tip ideas: Make a crock pot of stew, two night meals and later a crick of chicken breasts. You can make on tottilla wraps shredded chicken with lettuce and tomato, or rice, chicken and beans with leftovers.
    Buy a kids health cook book and use it in a way to arrange short cuts in your own way.
    

Mega Millions & The Lottery

       You can't win if you don't play. Isn't that the saying to trap people into playing away their much needed every day money? Now we have the mega million up past a half a billion dollars. Maybe someone can bail out the national debt, after our government isn't doing it.
       We never think when we play how it all adds up. Some people say, this is my only vice. Well why have a vice at all if that's your only one? Smoking, drinking and gambling seem to be the worst of vices, seem to be. But the we have drugs, sex, porn, shopping, and alcohol. The end result is it costs. It cost money, lives and the destruction of families and self.
    My bad habit is I can't stop writing, and uh, I also play the lottery as much as I hate to admit it. I am doing it much less than I used to, aware of where and how money seems to trickle away. I'd also rather spend it on my kids and grandson. Now he is worthwhile for spending and hugging and taking off to just see for a day.
    Well I am working on the house, cleaning, arranging and hopefully ripping a carpet out. You know what "they say" An idle mind is the devils' playground, so I have to keep busy, at least occupied in a positive way. Making bags this weekend.
See my on artfire under Doozybags. I hope whoever does win this gross amount does a lot of sharing and giving to worthwhile causes, like St. Jude, Cancer, The Heart Association, churches that help people, neighbors in need and just do good with it. Congrats who ever you end up to be.

Social Host Awareness-Conscientiousness, Kid Parties

              This is what it's now being called. I saw this on a moring show and what's happening to and with parents who let kids have parties at home and mostly in the basements. Areas out of sight are dangerous. Moms and dads pop in and out, but kids are kids and will be sneaky, same as adults who want to do what they shouldn't. The father in the case I saw is being charged with forty-four counts of underage drinking/supplying alcohol to minors. They were seniors who did sneak alcohol into the party and according to the show, there isn't any mention of any kids being charged. I am going to look at this more. This is about responsibility all the way around. But don't most parents do what they feel is right. A college professor, this man should have known better? That's what we think isnt it?
              Bottom line is parents, be careful, this is the holiday season and again, kids as well as parents use it to indulge. No not in church you silly person-wouldn't that be out of character? Try it-a good substitute and no fines, no charges, no DWIC-driving while in Church-I know duhhhhh

Those Evil Step Parents-How Dare they

    Hey you mean step parents...what's wrong with you? How dare you try to help and support a family? You have some nerve trying to replace a parent, after all they took off, left, don't have time, not paying support, dating, have a new spouse and new kids and just seemed to no longer have interest in the children they helped bring into the world.
    On the other hand, did you do the same? Sorry, has to be asked. I know there are mean step parents who try to use a dictatorship type household to command respect from someone else's children. But, yes but there are also plain ol' moms and dads who do the same. The difference here is all about blood, how you came into the family and who does the main discipline.
    Can you simply be a support parent figure without discipline? I don't think so, but ground rules need to be set by both parents and step parents. If there is too much hostility between the adults who parted how do you think the kids will react. That is just it-they react, not respond. So do adults. Calm down everyone.
    Maybe one thing you bring to the table is ask the kids how they feel about everything. Come to some agreements and show that you do care about how they feel. Also just a suggestion, go to church as a family. You may be different religions or none at all, so start. Go to a non-denominational church. Don't start off going during a holiday. It' so busy you get lost and most people don't even notice you-unless you sign a guest book, ask for  a visit or to volunteer. Now remember this is my opinion. The Christmas holiday is coming up soon and if theres' one thing most of us know it's, Joy To The World, so don't listen to me, go to church and mend those fences before they fall down completely.
   To those who might read this , if I'm wrong(hardly ever:)) add something better and more positive. There are many parents and step mom and dads who could use some good advice as well as all of those hurting and confused kids.

Across The Field...Those People !

       With a big smile in my heart I was just reminded of a time on December 22, two years ago when a few men showed up one Saturday morning, not that I forget at all. How do you ever forget goodness? This is about those men and the People across the field.
          I want to go back some years. For the people across the field who know me pretty well know about my grammar school principal Mr. Vitalo, the most important man in my life as a kid, one who had morals, ethics, built kids up, stood up for them and did anything in his power to help if you let him. I knew that was key, if I let him. Pride and fear get in the way with people. I wrote a lot on this blog about Mr. Vitalo so I won't delve into that again now. As the years passed no could or ever would measure up to even ten percent of that man until...
          I met a man across the field. I didn't have any idea who he was except some guy with a wife and a few kids who moved in and I hope I could hire one of the boys to mow my lawn. That's all I cared about. I wanted to keep my distance. If I paid then there isn't any connection. If I knew then what I know now:)
         Life is funny that way. It gives what you need sometimes weather you want it or not. So I knocked not expecting anything. This guy comes to the door smiling!
I thought what's he smiling about, I haven't said anything yet. He was welcoming me, but he was new. His wife stood by also smiling. Are these people nuts? Did I spill something on my top-again? Anyway I introduced myself and got to the point.
      He looked at his wife and said yeah, I think we can do that. We made arrangements and in a few days he showed up with his son. They looked around the field, and said they'd be back tomorrow. That first time both guys mowed using  a tractor and hand mower for the steep hill in front. After that it was always Sten, my favorite kid mower then. There is a season...
        As time and years passed I found myself learning more about The Family Across the Field, just as they learned about me. we shared many laughs and that guy who I didn't know anything about, well his name is Witmer as I started to call him, as well as some of the kids. One was just Little Witmer. There are so many memories about the talks, the laughs and the help. You see it wasn't just mowing, it was also shoveling snow.
         Before I get to that, once Sten was grown and moving, his brother Eric took over, and he was my favorite kid mower for that stretch. I love having kids around and they always gave more that they got in return. Each son had his own personality and they put up with me yakking at them. What respect! One day big Witmer shows up with Little Witmer. A hot summer day she had the hand held mower, hair up in a pretty pony-tail, and jeans! Long jeans rolled at the bottom mowing in that heat! What a family. If anything humbles a person that family can do it. There kindness and goodness is overwhelming.
     Winter arrives every year. See how smart I am-smirk. I love the winter and as much snow as we can get after all, I am a viking. The summer heat and I don't agree at all, but give me cold weather and I am so happy. So one day during a winter I called over to the House Across The Field and this nice voice answers, yup Lady Witmer. She tells me hello and how are ya doing kind of thing, chit chat a little, then I ask do you think maybe a Witmer could shovel? Of course but first he's shoveling...wow a professional shoveler!
      I love to shovel too, but sometimes my back doesn't help out. Well one winter night I hear Witmer with a shovel and at that time I have three boys here for a short time. They asked if they could go out and I say yes, but stay away from the driveway, Witmer is working. Oh boy you won't believe what happened next, I didn't.
     It wasn't long before I heard what sounded like yelling and shouting, giggles, laughing and plain old ruckus! Those kids! I walked out my side door,( can't tell ya what I was thinking) dark as night can be except for  aside light, see one of the boys who said faster than fast, "we're not doin' nuttin, it's them" pointing to the Witmers,  and I see  Big Witmer standing there, shovel in hand, turns around, says with a grin, hey Costa, hope you don't mind, we're just having a little fun. Little Witmer just gets back up the hill, says Hi Costa, we're sledding. I was so happy. My first thought was the boys were doing something to cause a problem, but oh no it wasn't.
If I remember correctly just one Witmer was missing, oh wait two. Lady Witmer was usually home, fires burning, hot cocoa ready doing school or church stuff/work! So Big Witmer told my boys to jump on ad take a ride. Three boys got on a sled and the block could hear them yelling with unleashed happiness. With that I just heard from a boy who remembers the Witmer family. He said his happiest times as a kid was living here, and knowing the Witmer, that he learned from them and he keeps them in his prayers. Kool huh?
      Well they all played a while longer, then finished the drive-way. Over the years any children who lived here were always treated the same by that family across the way, and I could always bounce stuff for ideas with Lady Witmer. We've been invited to church many times. I love to hear Lisa Carpen sing most of all and I remember one night near Christmas, Sten was going to do a piece of art work, then Lisa sang. Her voice, her passion is enough to make anyone change, and more over the years I could vent stuff to Big Witmer too about this and that, and how to repair some things. I like to do as much as I can myself, but then a biggie happened.
         My basement flooded. I talked to Those People Across the Field and Lady Witmer said, I'll ask Todd to come over and look at it. So Big Witmer did come over and he saw the problem. By then I had mold about two feet high and spreading near and wide across paneling, What a mess it was.
         One December morning I get a call. It was Big Witmer. Now he called me the day before asking to come see the water tank, get specks etc. information he was passing on to some guy. Well the very next morning I get another call from Big Witmer. he said we'll be over in about fifteen minutes; I wanted to give you a warning. Fifteen minutes!!! Even Batman doesn't get ready that quick! But I did, not too sure what was coming. Then this wonderful white truck pulls up. My dream is to have a big truck, or just a truck, but has to be able to hold kids:)
       So this truck has a guy, a kid and another guy. I was introduced to them as the men from the Nehemiah mission at the Witmers' church. The little guy was a grandson. We all went to work and on top of that Bob found the leak. It came from a cold water copper pipe leading into my washing machine. John, Witmer, myself and the grandson along with a little guy who was living here at the time worked for three hours, ripping out walls, loading scraps into Witmers truck, hauling out all the basement water which was too heavy. Those men! While I know how strong I am that water was too heavy for me, and smiling Witmer said here Costa, I got it. John and Witmer hauled just about all of the standing water out. Bob installed the new water tank, but it was one always helping the other. They brought in tools, found electric lines, water lines and all for the love of Jesus and their love of helping thy neighbor.
      I couldn't believe it only took three hours. There were times I would go in the basement and feeling overwhelmed, sit on a step and think, how am I going to do this; where will I start? The answer came December 22nd.
      Now after all this, a few months ago I needed to have a hole dug for the septic system to be cleaned and inspected. I called a young Witmer. He was actually getting ready to go back out west, but he came over anyway, putting someone else ahead of himself. That kid! That wonderful kid dug about two hours straight. He looked at a map, listened to the zoning officer to learn, and that was after the fact.
 He dug about four feet down, and close to two and half feet across. It was so professional. You knew this was a young guy with a conscience, a work ethic, and values. The night before he and his sister came over for  a visit. He was tanned and tired and I wasn't sure as tired as he was he would be able to dig. But sure enough, I heard that familiar sound, the shovel. In Winter, summer, a special need, the shovel, those People Across the Field are worthy of whatever goodness in life, that life brings them.
    Oh what I left out; I never knew Witmer was a pastor for many years. He never preached at or to me, not one word, but something about him, his family made me wonder. I wonder a lot . So to address him as Witmer for me seemed normal. Then chatting with Lady Witmer one day, I learned he was a pastor. Like a scattered puzzle coming together, it all made sense. Just like Mr. Vitalos' goodness.  Later in life meeting him again I learned he was studying to be a priest, but the war called and that seemed to change his life's direction, but not for a moment his dedication.
To everything there is a season

Celebrate Kids-what they do for us !!! U Two n' Montana

              Awesome was made for them. They were born to be awesome, but how many times have we overheard, you idiot! Hey Stupid what did I tell you? I've done it too, but in my own defense ( I know, oh sure) I like moron and only as a joke, only if I know the older kid can take it and know too that he can give it right back. Maybe in that I should stop because we never know what a kid really thinks we think when we/I do that. So I will do better.
              I remember no matter how young or old I was or am, somehow kids made me happier. In them I see proof that a future can be better for the world, that a future is possible. As a young teen feeling very little hope for the future, I still had to be responsible for my little brother and taking his two year old hand I would pretend at times to be his mom since I was with him almost every hour of the day. His future was planned. In my mind he would grow up to be a person who valued others first, didn't curse , drink or swear and would grow trees and climb mountains, yet we lived in Brooklyn New York. I was a fresh air kid so I knew it was possible for city kids to farm, climb mountains, plant a garden and from being a fresh air kid I knew too and learned about respect. They were Amish.
              That Amish family taught me more in two weeks about family values, worship, nurturing and more, than I learned in ten years at home. The youngest child on the farm had family responsibilities and that opened my eyes more to what children give to us. Returning to Brooklyn I watched little kids younger than I take out trash, empty bottles, run to the store, get mom a drink, pick up something mom or dad dropped, help the baby, get the mail, sweep the floor and so much more.
      As I grew up I saw my friend Sandy had some of the same responsibilities when it came to babysitting her sibling. Maybe we had to do it so much because our parents were afraid of what was "out there". But I doubt it. Anyway from then on, I saw my own brothers earn spending money shining shoes and selling newspapers. While they did that, most kids on the block ran to stores, washed halls, helped clean, did some babysitting and as they became teenagers, well that's when I really saw how kids work! Sure many to earn money, but they worked like some grown men wouldn't or couldn't.
       In a local butcher shop one kid Joey cleaned like a cyclone, always sweeping in and out, delivering orders on his bike no matter how hot or cold. Oh yeah he thought he was a grown-up with a cigarette behind his ear, but the butcher Big Joe took care of that. On a Saturday night Joey was washing the giant plate glass window while friends were on their way to a dance, and he quit smoking.
        Another local grocery store had a family who ran it, and yes the family children all worked there all to make it come together. Many, many time those kids had school books, sitting on crates reading and when a customer walked in, up one jumped to take care of the customer. That was family and work values in one, working for the good of the whole, no one more important or less than another.
     Today we see kids behind fast service counters and expect it fast, at gas stations, movie theatres, on farms, in churches. As adults we watch them and see who we have raised grow into who they want to be. We hopefully raise our children to be able to take care of themselves, respect others, do work that is honest and meaningful and to think for themselves. We raise them to do better and be better in whatever capacity that can be and we love them no matter what.
     I think I have been more fortunate than many adults, not that I'm always adult-like, but have known many kids. I've had a couple of neighbor kids, now young men living in Montana and I know how proud their parents are as they are of their daughter. I love those three kids. To me they will always be as if my own in some ways. Looking out my kitchen window I still see a twelve year old blond haired kid with a giant grin on a  Nine n ford tractor, mowing and waving. Time passed then I see a darker haired younger brother then about fourteen brother going over the same ground, and more time passed. The brothers were making changes as they were becoming men. One day I heard mowers. Huh? I knew the boys were away. It was The dad and his daughter on a hot summer day, she looking so cute in jeans with rolled up cuffs, too hot to mow but being that same good and caring extension of her family. She was the one whose voice I heard in a high school hall one day yell my name with me wondering, who knew me here? She saw me, I didn't see her until then. She went out of her way to say hi. I have to move on or...well you know.
           Lets' celebrate all kids and the foundations they stand on. Sure as parents own in other small children.
Look at the wonder in their eyes and wonder who they are. Take time to meet, to know and learn more about who may stand before you the next time you're on line in a fast food restaurant, getting gas, buying movie tickets or shopping. Give them a special thanks. They don't forget. Did you?