Tuesday, August 7, 2018

17 Year Marriage Jinx or 4 Years Dating

        Let's start with the easy one. Have you been dating a guy four years or more? He's not going to marry you! He's using you until he finds someone who he thinks is better.
      Normally I don't believe in stats. All of those saying like , watch out if you've been married seventeen years. Statistics show that's the danger year. But it's true, Watch as you get close to the fifteenth year to the sixteenth? How is he changing, or she? One or the other starts to show changes, like meeting old friends, hair color, weight loss, a new car, out of town trips, emergency calls, has to go....yes, all excuses to meet the new lady or man in their lives. So what do you do?
        Usually this happens to a stay at home spouse because they have to be home to take care of the kids and then it just settles in that they keep on being a stay at home person without an outside job or income. The working partner no longer find the other interesting or valuable . So they seek out someone who is interesting, earns a paycheck.
           It's time before it's time to make your own money and make the other person who may be cheating accountable. If they have an emergency call and have to leave, let them know you're going to, to be supportive, you'll call a family member to watch the kids-then watch his or her face. Buying a new car, now has car payments, make sure somehow you put away each month a car payment for yourself in a personal bank account. Notice certain nights he has to go out after supper or shortly after he gets home? Beat him to the punch. Get ready before he gets in every night. Get an extra set of car keys made. As soon as he walks in you walk out.
       Tell him or her, going to meet friends, going to the library, take a college class about computers, self-worth, tell him you have a family emergency. If you get home he'll ask what family and you tel him, I'm the emergency, I have to get out as much as you do. Don't let him use you. Don't sit home and cry or wonder what he;s doing and with whom. Let him wonder.
      If you come home and he has a babysitter. Talk with her. Tell her you'll pay her not to come.
Be alert. MOST of all keep a file on everything that goes on and how much he makes and his SS number. Okay , I'm done for now, Good luck getting to and through the 17th year!