Feeling good to be back blogging and one of my favorite subjects are/is kids. I know a little boy who lives with someone who constantly throws tantrums. Yes he has an illness, and the woman he lives with has learned a lot about his illness, but not enough about his control issues until today.
What she did today was something she did a while ago with another child who cursed her out, threw tantrums, kicked the floor all at just eight years old. With a teen sitting at her side, he said let me handle him. Of course that was a no. What she learned then was purely by impulse. Since this little guy didn't have any respect for her and her property it was time to turn that around. This little kid came to her with barely any property, but one day she had a humongous birthday party like it was Christmas, so now he had a lot of his very own property. Taking toys away only works for the moment.
While he sat on the floor calling her an F and B the teen again said oh please let me at em'. This kid then pushed and kicked at her chair, and then she got up, went to his room, and grabbed his Thomas the Train set which she just bought him, went to the side door, opened it and whoosh, threw it out into the yard. He screamed, cried and pleaded. At first she was surprised at his reaction, but something else set in. He was afraid of bees which she didn't know, but that wouldn't have stopped her as he could always get his toys later in the early evening. He came in crying, and calling her more names. She went to his room, took a puzzle this time, out the door. Yes it sounds cruel, but after the second piece of property went flying out the door, there weren't any more incidents of disrespect which brings me to today.
This other child at twelve has tantrums too, worse than any she ever experienced and no one, not one person could tell her how to control him. That old memory came into play and she warned him, loud and clear. He became worse as he always does when behavior is mentioned, yelling no you can't do that! Hah, but you can? Out the door went a box of something he loves and as it opened and a few pieces flew into the air, he sat in the yard crying and angry. He came in and asked to move.
Within a minute he started to tantrum again when she went to his room and he immediately stopped. Giving him instructions about visitors which usually brings on a tantrum, banging furniture, yelling and fake crying for almost two hours at a time and less, she told him she doesn't care who is here. If he shows dis-respect, has a tantrum-out his toys will go and they will be bigger than today. His answer? A quiet okay. I'm sure my friend knows this will take a few more tosses as he's been doing this for almost nine years, and while it isn't meant for every child, it is working for him along with other changes. Time, patience and a few drinks.
